Sunday, February 4, 2007

The SB That Made Us Want Diabetes

(Image is from the Heart Association's ad that shows your heart is a sad old wimp who gets his ass kicked on the street by leather-clad Risk Factors. Check it out at

Ten points from a wet ugly mess of a game...

1) Once again, if you bet with Mean Old Grandpa Carl, you'd be in the money. It's all about the experience.

2) Was anyone else worried when Prince came out and the lightning strike hit? He'd have left a little purple spot on the stage. But damn, he's still the shit. Nice Devil Dick silhouette action, and the man did the impossible of making a marching band cool. Golf clap.

3) The NFL Network produced the halftime show... and yet, Prince was seen by more than 10% of the audience, it didn't suck, and he didn't get laryngitis halfway through the set. A monumental success for the network!

4) There were six first-half turnovers, including four on back to back plays, with only seven points resulting from them. The last FTT saw this much slop, our ex-wife was involved.

5) Most inexplicable strategy of the night: when the Bears blitzed Manning, they generally got off the field, and never got burned by it. So they limited their blitzes to about 5 to 10% of plays, and spent the night giving up critical third downs.

FTT gets that you don't want to get into a big-play shootout with the Colts. But when you don't adjust to the game that's happening, you deserve to lose.

6) This year's Walter Payton award winners for the NFL's best people... Tomlinson and Brees. So, you have to be a raging asshole to get to the SB? (Hmm...)

7) What part of the night defined Sexy Rexy for you... falling on his ass for two straight sacks in the third quarter, or the two back-breaking bad throws into coverage for picks in the fourth? David Woodley's place in NFL history (Worst Starting QB who was excused for his "inexperience") is no longer secure. Bears fans, you had a great year, and you're going to win your division again next year... but you'll never win a SB with him.

8) Best Pussy Move of the Night: Indy avoiding Hester on kickoffs. FTT kept waiting for Vinateri to just kick the ball out of bounds intentionally and save everyone the running.

9) Some seamhead has shown that teams that score on kickoff returns actually lose more games than they win. FTT isn't really buying it, but after watching it happen in both the Pro Bowl and the BCS Championship, maybe there's something to it.

10) Frankly, we're amazed that the Bears didn't score a meaningless touchdown to blow the cover in the last minute. It would have made the night complete.

Now, who's ready for some Pro Bowl action? Anyone? Anyone?


Anonymous said...

The Bears are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

Anonymous said...

mmmm.... diabetes. (drool)

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