Sunday, March 4, 2007

Overhead this week at our methadone clinic

1) Jake Plummer retires, rather than take the relo to Tampa Bay.

Leaving us all with the what-if theoretical exercise of who he would have lost the job to -- Garcia, Simms, or Gradkowski. (And if there was a way to bet the over on number of Buc QBs to take a snap in 2007, we'd take the over. Does Gruden still have Brad Johnson's phone number?)

2) Gosh, a lot of NFL guys got paid this week.

And if you're one of those people that get all bent / excited by this kind of thing, you need more of a life, really. Beyond the idea that every league should actually have an off-season, there's this... NFL guys get hurt like crazy. Last year, the Browns thought they had their offensive line all cleaned up by signing LeCharles Bentley... and he's never played a down for them, following a knee injury.

So you'll have to forgive FTT for not getting all bent out of shape by these. We've watched the Redskins win March every year for the Dan Snyder era. They're real good at it.

3) Daisuke Matsuzaka's gyroball devastates college players.

We remember last year, when this was named Josh Beckett. And, um, WTF are they thinking with Joel Piniero as the big RP signing? They'll be hoping Keith Foulke can come out of retirement by June.

4) Class-action lawsuit filed against Boris Diaw by his fantasy league owners.

Well, no, not really. But if that astronaut diaper chick wants to branch out, we'll chip in for her gas.

5) ESPN televises Arena League Football.

On the one hand, it's a pointless train wreck between basketball and football, where 50 points is the mark of a strong defense, and two players in the history of the exercise have managed to actually make it into the league.

On the other, there are literally dozens of insufferable NFL announcers that don't cover it, and ESPN hasn't decided to destroy it yet with crossover entertainment inanity. Hmm...

6) Bud Selig wants you to suck his Dish.

We had the Dish before our last move, and might get it again some day: we're no fan of the cable expereience, and it's always nice to encourage some actual competition. But MLB's "cut 'em off at the sac" policy of moving from a cable package to the dish-only is just one more reason why Bud Selig deserves every moment of the lifetime of torment that waits him in the next place. (That place being a methadone clinic in Hoboken. Word gets around in FTT's elite circles.)

7) March Madness.

Is our school in it? Cool. How about some from our local area? OK, we'll root for them, too. Is the tourney wide open? Oh, like never before! Can't you just feel the excitement?

Will FTT join your pool, or give you insightful analysis that helps you win? No and no. As Mean Old Grandpa Frank would say, know your limits. Punk.


Anonymous said...

How is this exclusive deal with Directtv in baseball, any different from the Sunday ticket with the NFL? And competition? Cable bid on this and lost to Directtv. So there was competition - cable providers just didn't like the outcome. Can't fault Bud on this one. Blame your lame ass cable provider for not bucking up, but bringing you the Oxygen network. Thanks cable.

DMtShooter said...

It is different, because football is different than baseball. 16 games a year versus 162. A heck of a lot easier to get to a sports bar and suck the NFL dish.

I'm all for blaming my lame-ass cable provider; I kinda hate them. (And for the record, I'm not ponying up for their package, anyway.)

But MLB has a PR problem that is 10X in magnitude over the NFL on this one, just due to the number of games. The fact that their response to the problem is to basically talk about the consistency of mammary glands is, well, Bud-esque.

Dirty Davey said...

Another part of the problem is that so many people are fans of one particular team (rather than of "baseball" in general).

Football, the worst-case scenario (Eagles unavailable, no sports bar) I'd watch one of the other games, eye the ticker, and hope for highlights.

Baseball, no Orioles game means turn off the TV and do something completely unrelated.

Anonymous said...

I find it amazing that MLB is getting raked over the coals for something (an exclusive package) that the NFL has done for years. Then again if the NFL decided to go on a two-year hiatus. People would be touting it as a great idea.

Where I live (greater Philadelphia area) Comcast refuses to let Directv have access to their RSN. (Since these signals are not sent over the air, they do have this right. However, they are quite petty about it.) This also means that despite having Center Ice or Extra Innings, I cannot get the Flyers or Phillies games. Therefore, I think that the cable providers (Especially Comcast) can go bleep themselves.

DMtShooter said...

Bleep. Ah, the non-curse word of a more innocent era.

Where have you gone, Lee Elia, Cub Nation turns its jobless eyes to you...

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