Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Top 10 Losers In The Michael Vick Scandal

10. The Falcons. Starting with the money they might not get back and moving to the Matt Schaub in Houston problem, this is going to hurt for a while. It might be quicker than many anticipate, due to the fast turn of the league and the fact that getting out from under Vick's unique skills may be a help... but there's going to be tens of thousands of empty seats and no chance at the playoffs. The Harrington Era will not be long.

9. The NFL. Not enough to actually cut into the rampaging popularity of the league -- let's face it, there's pro football and then there is everything else in the American sports market right now -- but this isn't good. Atlanta's going to go back to being a weak franchise, and that's a large television market.

8. The Lakers. With Vick going off the table in the next 24 to 48 hours, attention will go back to the biggest wildcard on the table, which is the multi-divorcing Kobe Bryant.

7. PETA. Vick was a gold-plated gift from the PR gods for this organization, who had to see a spike in donations and media coverage from this sad little circus. Several more weeks and the chance to generate a truly large rally would have, secretly, suited them just fine.

6. Nike. Not that football is the biggest shoewear mover, or that Vick can't be replaced, and quickly, with a fresh face. But make no mistake: this has Harmed The Brand, and if you're in marketing, you know that you just don't do that. They cost too much to build and can disappear in days.

5. The federal government. Possibly the only entity that got off light in the whole sordid mess, the airtight prosecutorial effort was able to get every defendant to roll over and plead. For every person you hear that says that government can't do anything right... have them volunteer for a grand jury indictment.

4. ESPN. The World Wide Lemur gets to move away from actual journalism and back to another two weeks of timewaste. But it was good for them while it lasted.

3. Racial card players. Had Vick fought the charges, he would have fit right into the whole undercurrent of black/white suspicions. But now that he's copped a plea, most will walk away from him with speed. Al Sharpton is wiping away tears.

2. Pundits. From Bill O'Reilly to Deion Sanders, Vick has been the wind beneath many a gasbag wing. They are going to miss him.

1. Bloggers. He gave us so much, really. Photoshops by the score. Dramatically wrong YouTube clips. Cheap heat columns to play Devil's Advocate. And now, finally, this list.


smakdphat said...

what about the dogs he killed?

Anonymous said...


TheNaturalMevs said...

Good write up tool. I think that the biggest loser here is the dogs. Now they're going to have to fall victim to all that overbreading again. Look how mean it's made the Jack Russell breed. I know, I own one. They might look cute, but you get to close to one of those snide little fuckers, they'll take your face off.

krazykat said...

Fuck the Falcons! The man lynched and drowned dogs.

DMtShooter said...

Of course the dogs are the biggest losers. But one of my goals as a writer is to not write something you've read somewhere else. Poke around the site, see if you agree. Besides, as Leitch wrote on Deadspin, the dog angle is going to be more than covered by the rest of society.

So, just to make sure that I'm not painted as an apologist or soft on dog death -- for the record, Killing Dogs is Bad, and I'm glad Vick is getting treated as the criminal he is.

Anonymous said...

Your race card comment is unfair to Al Sharpton. If you did a bit of research you would see that Sharpton was actually one of the first to come out and criticize Vick and to say race was NOT an issue, wrong is wrong.

DMtShooter said...

My reflex was to go with the Rev., if only because he's the best public speaker. You may have a point, Anonymous Ombudsman.

The Truth said...

Wasn't there a bloody glove that Vick couldv'e tried to put on but fail to in court? He would have been home free. I guess his lawyer can't do much without Curly Neal as a witness.

Anonymous said...

The Truth's got a point. Vick's people showed a distinct lack of rhyming.

Anonymous said...

Let's be realistic here. We are talking abt dog figthing and he is going to jail for this. Give me a break. They are dogs bro. They are on the menu at most Korean restaurants.

Anonymous said...

Who lost out the most on the Michael Vick scandal? How about THE DOGS! Wake up!

Anonymous said...

this list is ALL wrong i mean come on. . . .the falcons??? the dogs got the shortest stick in this situation. . . i mean how can u just look over that, and the whole Al sharpton thing is sooo un fair!!! whoever did this list is screwed up in the head!!

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