Monday, January 26, 2009

Top 10 reasons the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl

"Audi et alteram partem," my old college political science professor would say, to the point of having his students question whether or not the old man had lost it. It's Latin for "hear the other side," and something that has always stayed with me, because, well, he really did say it that much.

Anyway... some of you are going to bet this the other way than me, and thank heavens for that, otherwise I'd have to lay way too many points. But take heart with the following list! And, by all means, keep betting. I'd love for the spread to be under 7.

10) Steelers linebacker James Harrison, having been cut four times before breaking through as a star, is due for a crippling bout of insecurity

9) The Cards specialize in foiling the defensive schemes of very, very old men

8) Pittsburgh lacks the one player that can stop Kurt Warner in a Super Bowl: Adam Vinatieri

7) The last time Ben Roethlisberger was on this stage, the Steelers' best QB was Antwaan Randle El

6) Since Edge James has announced that he wants out of Arizona, he's going to make sure it's with a ring, just so that everyone can be impressed by his convictions

5) After having Georgia Frontiere and Art Modell hold the Lombardi Trophy earlier this decade, Bill Bidwell just makes sense

4) Pittsburgh's wearing of their road white uniforms will confuse their fans enough to neutralize their quasi-home field advantage

3) The last time anyone used this field the Raiders beat the Buccaneers, so it's clearly death to favorites

2) Adrian Wilson has already arranged to have Troy Polamalu's hair cut in his sleep

1) Arizona has two ex-Eagles (Rod Hood and Matt Ware), while the Steelers only have one (Mitch Berger), which makes the Cardinals twice as good

1 comment:

Tracer Bullet said...

I hope every last Cardinal gets dick cancer. Except Boldin, because I still hope he'll be an Eagle. For the rest: Dick cancer.

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