13) Baseballs are attracted to Cliff Lee's gravitational well of awesomeness.
12) When it rains, Cliff Lee does not get wet.
11) Tonight, Cliff Lee is the #1 topic on Twitter, but only because he has allowed it.
10) His middle name is "Phifer", which is Latin for "Much, Much, Much Cooler Than You."
9) The Dos Equis guy feels insecure in his presence.
8) He has solved pi, but is too modest to share the information with anyone else.
7) When his son and daughter were born, he did not feel nervous. Neither did the children, or his wife.
6) He allowed his down 2007 season to give his Cooperstown plaque some variety, and to give his autobiographers a story arc.
5) Lee can throw a baseball over 150 miles per hour, but chooses not to, because it would eliminate all drama from his starts.
4) He beaned Sammy Sosa on the night that he was honored for hitting his 600th home run, because Cliff Lee knows what Sammy Sosa did.
3) It has been said that this is Cliff Lee's world, and we're all just living in it. But the fact is that we are all merely figments of Cliff Lee's imagination.
2) Steroid abuse in baseball exists because of the hitters' fear of Cliff Lee.
1) Next year, Cliff Lee will lead the Phillies in stolen bases, just to master something new.
(Feel free to add your own in the comments...)