Monday, December 21, 2009

The Redskins Should Not Be Allowed To Use Sharp Scissors

So I'm watching the end of the first half of MNF, with the Giants leading the Redskins 24-0, and the Skins "driving" thanks to a long, barely completed fly pattern to Santana Moss. After a desultory out to useless wideout Antwan Randle-El, the Skins decide to give up and try the figgie, using their final timeout with two seconds left.

Then, The Dumbness really overwhelmed. I'll explain this slowly, and remember, I'm not making any of this up.

The Skins then tried a "swinging gate" kind of play, with seven guys from the nine on the line moving out to the left. The Giants called timeout, rather than let the gadget play continue. OK, fine, fun's fun and Washington is just going to kick a field goal. Um, no... they then do it again... and the ensuing gadget play involves snapping it to the holder, who then throws it up for grabs to the left as three rushing linemen make a wish, with the snapper not making contact on *any* of them. The pass is -- shockingly! -- underthrown and intercepted, as the Giants defensive linemen refused to count to Three Mississippi before rushing, and only the Giants laughter on the return prevents the play from failing to go for six.

To be fair, there was no way the Redskins were coming back to win this game, even had they kicked the figgie, and, well, not been utterly and completely dominated in ways that brought a new low to a franchise that keeps finding loose floorboards. But when your coaching staff is giving a new working definition for idiocy, it should be noted. We've been chronicling similar moments all year on You Crap The Bed, but at least on most of those plays, you could see some logic behind the dumbness. Not here. This play caused many people watching the game to not just boo, but just plain *leave*, rather than even boo, which shows a fair amount of sense from Skins Fan, I think. It's cold outside, this game will wind up as a 45-12 embarrassment, and your football team is run by people who are three steps removed from being smart enough to eat paste. The Lemur's Mike Tirico might have said it best, actually: "What in the wide world of sports was that?"

And don't think that the players didn't notice, either. Consider this less than upstanding quote for the bingo men from Skins DL Albert Haynesworth: "I don't think really this team is that bad. The players ain't that bad."

Bad, Fat Albert? No. Mind-boggingly stupid to the point of needing adult supervision? Closer. Oh, Daniel Snyder, how much does the rest of the division love you?


Ivy said...

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The NFL Draft is working with Boston University's Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy to study brain trauma in football. The league will ask former and current NFL players to donate their brains to science. Presumably, with fancy boxes to ship the brains, like they do for Super Bowl rings.
Page 2 loves this idea.
Scientists could study Mark Sanchez's brain to find out what he doesn't understand about the words "double-covered." They could study Tony Sparano's brain to find out what he sees in Pat White that no one else does. And they could look at Brett Favre's brain on the subject of waffling.

Steven Gomez said...

If Daniel Snyder and his puppet front office don't fire Jim Zorn, then they just don't care at this point. Yes, they're obviously punting the rest of this season, but they've still got a home game left, and if Snyder wants to actually put some butts in the seats for that Dallas game and milk the cash cow a bit further on 2009, he ought to show that this game made him as sick as it made the fans and give up the ghost with Zorn.

Anonymous said...

We ran this play in high school. We practiced it, and sometimes it worked. When the defense responded to it, either by calling time out or by sending the right # of people off to the side to cover it, the coach would reel us all back in. And we would kick the field goal.

On this play, the giants did not have a player along the line of scrimmage half way in between the snapper and the left-sided formation. The snapper COULD have shovel passed to the back behind the formation and ran into the pile, where they have a number advantage. This woorks for 2 point conversions, as a few yards can easily be attained. Not the whole freakin field

Mike said...

This is a little off topic but my friend always wants the Bears to win the cup. He wears his Bears shirt with pride everyday to school but never washes it. Sadly the Bears always never make it. He still cheers the Bears on though.

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