Thursday, February 25, 2010

Top 12 reasons why Nike is standing by Tiger Woods

Can't say I'm surprised by this news, but the timing is a bit odd, really. Why now, when there's really no reason to bring it up again?

12) Have decided that Thursday was the one day where they found room in their hearts to believe in him again

11) The apology to his sponsors was the most sincere thing he's said in years

10) He's just about the only pro golfer that ever used their clubs, whether they paid him or not

9) Long history of staying with dominant philanderers and adulterers

8) Appreciative of how he's made "Just Do It" a fresh marketing slogan, and given hope to, shall we say, women who might not have thought themselves attractive

7) Unlike every other pro golfer, he's actually in shape

6) Nike is secretly in thrall to Big Buddhism

5) Steve Williams would take away their cameras and get very very angry if they ended the relationship

4) Do not want to anger Elin out of self-preservation, as well as the fact that she could open up a new market for non-traditional use of the clubs

3) Have a "Mars Blackmon" / "He's Gotta Have It" line of ads all planned out for the return

2) Now that they know how low his standards are, hoping that he'll be, um, frisky the next time he visits the campus

1) Like most of the people who wear their attire, he doesn't play sports now either

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