Thursday, September 9, 2010

Top 12 Ad Questions from Saints-Vikings

12) What drugs were involved in the Subway ad brainstorm when they decided to go with butch motorcycle riders?

11) Is one of the side effects of Cialis flooding and a sudden need to bathe in matching tubs?

10) What on earth has to happen for studios to stop giving M. Night Shyamalan money to make movies?

9) While it's nice that owning an electric vehicle gets you a loving hug from a polar bear, wouldn't it be more productive for them if they just started mauling the SUV drivers and oil company execs?

8) And while we are here, when did polar bears learn to only cross the street when they have the light?

7) One more for the ursines... seeing how brown bears will maul drivers for fast food, can we infer that the color of their fur determines their eco-awareness and political bent?

6) Does drinking Bud Light inspire delusions involving common household items, beyond the idea that Bud Light is something you might want to consume?

5) Why does Ray Lewis's fantasy involve blowing up a planet while wearing nothing but body wash, rather than just getting paid millions to get fellated as one of the most overrated players ever, while allegedly getting away with murder?

4) If the Clear phones can afford high speed connections in so many places, why can't they afford a logo that doesn't look like an Islamic crescent?

3) Why does DirecTV think that showing painful acts of violence from the vengeful fans of a home team's market will make me want to purchase their service?

2) Why does Sprint think that the patronage of horrifically insensitive douchebag athletic trainers would spur sales?

1) Now that Jon Hamm of "Mad Men" is voicing Mercedes-Benz ads, does that mean that it's the official car for smokers, alcoholics, philanderers and military deserters?

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