Tuesday, November 9, 2010

FTT Off-Topic: Happy DST Day

(FTT Off-Topic is a recurring feature that Is Not Sports, for the most part, and can be safely skipped for anyone who is only here for the MLB/NBA/NFL content that is our general stock and trade. If you like my writing enough to take the full dose, thanks. Now, back to the prattling.)

Every year around this time, when the clocks are set back and we're reminded how Arizona and Hawaii refuse to get with the program -- seriously, people, your states are so special that you can't do the same thing as the rest of the nation? Speaking for the travel and business community, thanks for giving us one more reason to just take a miss on your precious selves -- you hear how the whole thing is a sham and a waste of time and energy. Moreso now with the Facebookery that lets any opinion be shared like a cold sore.

And for all I know, it is, and the practice should be abolished. I haven't dug into the details, but this should be a simple enough answer to produce for some Greenie. All I know is that I routinely paw through my own garbage like a hobo to make sure my recycling bins have the proper makeup, mostly to make sure I'm doing my part, and also because my OCD just works that way. I try to justify it by thinking that limiting my carbon footprint isn't a political decision for me, but also an economic and patriotic one... but mostly, it's just the OCD. You know those old guys that freak out over the pristine nature of their lawns, or have their dry goods arranged alphabetically, with their automotive repair records filed chronologically? It's coming. Give me time.

Anyhoo... I don't know about you, but that extra hour of fall sleep is right up there with Thanksgiving for Best Holiday Of The Year for me now, and is gaining fast, especially as I have less and less ability to avoid relatives. (I keed, I keed, relatives who read FTT!) Unlike every other holiday, it doesn't require for me to do a damn thing; no decorations, cards, presents or marketing messages. No shopping, cost or worries. And that extra hour *always* comes in handy. This year, I was playing poker in a casino, feeling mighty virtuous that despite my vice, I wasn't going to out so late. And that NFL football Sunday, when I invariably overslept and scrambled to my computer for last-minute fantasy football moves, only to find that I still had 40 minutes to ponder, and can take extra time to check on the kids and stuff my piehole? Heaven, I tell you, heaven.

The weeks before DST Day, when you have to rouse children in pre-dawn darkness to go to school and have the very best Tuesday ever? Gahhh. It doesn't matter when you put them to bed, how they slept, what you fed them or your fake it to make it positive attitude. They know it's not yet time to wake up, you know it's not yet time to wake up, and pretending otherwise is just cruelty. So when DST comes like an angel of sanity, it's a pure respite. And oh by the way, Facebook Friends who want to repeal this? I see how few of you have kids. So you are wrong, and I am right, seeing how I'm doing the work of outnumbering (and outvoting) you. DST Day stays.

I submit that we would have a better world, a happier country, and a more well-adjusted populace if DST Day came more often. Say, 24 times a year. But only if we never, ever go forward (forward? for less sleep? are you insane?), but backward. Sure, it would create a ton of confusion and hurt feelings around scheduled office meetings, but it's not as if we're getting sleep any other way. It would also make every Saturday night / Sunday morning even better. And it might be the only thing to keep me from the damned micro-sleeping. Now, who's with me on this?

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