Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Top 10 signs that the Yankees negotiations with Derek Jeter are going to get dicey

10) The team is going to enter into the dirty pool that is defensive statistics

9) Jeter has made the tactical error of being 36 while having his worst offensive year

8) The Steinbrenner that would have gave him an overly generous deal is currently engaged in an eternal cycle of having his spleen torn out, then shoved back in, all while engulfed in a lake of fire

7) Jeet has promised fiancee Minka Kelly a wedding that will make Chelsea Clinton's look squalid

6) It's in their DNA to cut their stars before the end of the line

5) The line of teams lining up to compete with them for Jeet's services, um, doesn't exist

4) Despite Jeet's presence and his pursuit of various records, those front-row seats just aren't selling

3) Even for the Yankees, the recession exists

2) There's no place to move him when they finally admit his defense (or offense) is a problem

1) Loyalty, schmoyalty -- they want Cliff Lee

(Bonus: Since they tragically didn't win the World Series this year, everything must go...)

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