Sunday, December 5, 2010

Top 10 developments for when the NBA takes over the New Orleans Hornets

With the failure of a sale from longtime owner and reprobate George Shinn to minority owner Gary Chouest, and the continuing struggle for attendance in a down market and economy, the league is moving to take over the team. What will this mean to the day to day operations of the club?

10) As is traditional in these matters, the team's name will change to Expos

9) Trade offers for Chris Paul will be acted upon by committee, dismissed until new ownership is acquired, and then posted on WikiLeaks

8) David Stern to contact Seattle area millionaires to see if they'd like to get jerked around again

7) Team to threaten local government officials with departure, but only once the Saints have been eliminated from Super Bowl contention

6) All of the team's 13,826 fans to be contacted personally to see if they'd like to buy it

5) Team officials will consult with reserve center and world traveler Pops Mensah-Bonsu on which moving company is best

4) Stern to duck calls from Las Vegas officials, yet again, on when he's going to take off his skirt and just put a team there

3) Emeka Okafor to be paid his $11.5 million salary (ouch) in logo apparal, concessions and company scrip

2) Monty Williams can pretty much bank his charity Coach of the Year award right now

1) Franchises in Memphis, Charlotte, Sacramento and Minnesota to start figuring out how they can get in on this

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