Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Top 10 reasons why Tom Coughlin spent 2.5 hours alone in the dark after Sunday's loss

The Giants' coach volunteered this to the press. (No, I'm serious. Consider it a cry for help.) Anyway, here's what the man was up to. With soundtrack!

10) When he's in the dark, he can't see the face of the guy who didn't prepare his special teams for an onside kick

9) He's Catholic, and needed that long to recite the penance required for all of the times he took the Lord's name in vain

8) Just wanted to treat himself for a job well done

7) Didn't want anyone to see how much he was shaking, shaking, shaking

6) He preferred sensory deprivation to the SNF telecast (and may have a point)

5) Delayed but natural reaction to this year's season of "Survivor" being over

4) Only way to keep himself from calling WFAN with a fake accent to blame Eli

3) With all of the lights off, no one can see the truly disturbing outfit he wears for the ritual scarification, or his special Giants Crown Of Thorns

2) Best place to repeat his soothing peaceful mantra of "I still have a ring"

1) Concentrating on what he'll do after a win, when he spends 5 hours alone in the dark

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