Sunday, January 16, 2011

Seahawks - Bears Second Half Diary - Prime Time Garbage Time

Squib kick is lateraled back to Hester, who is stopped with violence at his own 24. Forte on a draw for four as Fox tries to excuse the Seahawks being bad over the loss of TEs. Um, sure; the 8-9 team would be great if they just had some healthy TEs. Forte for a yard, and then Cutler misses Bennett. The QB pules for a hold on his receiver, but doesn't get it. Maynard's punt is taken by Tate for 11, and the Hawks will start at their own 35 in their quest for the back door cover.

Lynch for no gain; Beast Mode not active today. Fox shows the Bear ground crow melting all the snow during halftime, which is downright nifty, really. Forsettt for no gain as well, and Hasselbeck's long third down is knocked down by Tillman, who does push ups to punish himself for the not making the pick. Cute. Hester runs 20 yards on the punt return, none of them forward.

Forte for five as the grind continues. Cutler milking the clock as he goes for another three, dodging a run bliz. You are getting sleepy. SLEEPY. Third and two is Cutler with time enough for a sandwich, and he eventually takes a jaunt to the left for eight yards and a first. WR Devin Aromashadou is lucky to avoid a clip at the end of that. Forte for a yard to the left. 25 minutes to Packers. Forte on a check down to the sticks. From the Hawk 44, it's Hester for five on a bubble screen, and no Hester play can end without jawing. Forte loses a yard to Clemons and Tatupu. 23 minutes to Packers, and Bear Fan sounds very bored. From the gun on third, Cutler milks clock from his pocket before taking Knox for 15 and the first, and the time that the QB has is downright comical. Rollout pass to TE Kellen Davis ends with Truffant ending the player at the cost of his head, which caught Davis low. That looks like Concussion #2 for the Hawks, who really look like they would have been better off just declining the trip to Chicago at this point. This time, the Bears PA plays Coldplay, which seems better in every way, given how Coldplay makes everyone feel like getting a concussion. 21 minutes to Packers, and I think it takes an hour to get the guy on the board. This also means we have time enough to get Fox's replay gomer into the booth. Woo! Truffant stays down long enough so that Bear Fan doesn't even cheer his departure. Of course, to be fair, they may also be frozen, asleep, or drunk. We finally get back to it, and it's Forte for six around the left side. Third and one is Forte again with ease. Billiards is now playing on ESPN, with women's college ball on ESPN2. Hmm. Forte for two, then a WILD!cat to wake everyone up for another two yards. IT'S WILD! WILD, I TELL YOU! Third and six from the gun sees Cutler roll right all the way into the end zone, and if the Seahawks still have the capacity for embarrassment, that will activate it. Let's just say that undue effort was not exhbited by the defense. With 19 minutes left to go until Packers, it's Bears 28, Hawks 0. I don't mean to say this game is a dog. Dogs have some positive qualities.

Shockingly, some Bear Fans prepared ahead for a Packer game. Washington does everything he can to avoid the shutout, and gets it back to the Bear 30; nice work by Gould to get the man out of bounds. Hasselbeck to Stokely with a quickness for 10 and a first. Forsett on a swing for pain and two yards. Gun work on second, and Williams falls as Hasselbeck's ball probably wasn't catchable anyway. Third and 8 from the gun ends with Stokely successfully lobbying for a flag on a ball that's five yards out of the end zone. Gift first down. From the Bear 13, RB Michael Robinson gets three yards on a swing pass, and that's another candidate for the crash cart. He gets up somehow, and we'll have more football this hour. Backwards pass to Tate is loose on the ground and eventually covered by the alert Obomanu. Wow, what a hateful play. Third and nine from the gun is a jump ball for Tate that doesn't work, and the Hawks take Shutout Avoidance. K Orlindo Mare connects, and those points matter to no one. Bears 28, Hawks 3 with 17 minutes to Packers.

KR Danieal Manning's good work is negated by a hold. Black starts from their own 9. Taylor for six. Siragusa and Johnston flirt. No, I'm serious. Taylor for three as the Fox crew stops paying attention to the game, and we're pretty much left to our own devices to see who did what. Third and 1 is a Black timeout -- odd, but I guess this game hasn't been going slowly enough, or maybe they were just against the clock. Taylor converst as the Fox crew goes into full Game Ignore mode. Well, it's not as if they are getting paid to cover it. End of three quarters.

Taylor toss for two; wise move to avoid wear and tear on the starters. Play action on second, and honestly, Cutler should just stand there and milk the clock. He misses to set up third and long, then converts with another scramble, this time for 21 yards. It's as if the Seahawks defense is paying no attention to the man with the ball. WILD!cat snap to Forte -- it's WILD! -- and the RB throws an unconscionable INT. IT'S WILD! WILD, I TELL YOU!

From the Bear 34, Hasselbeck drops a pass near Forsett while being sacked; smart veteran play to avoid the loss. He takes Stokley for nine to get over 100 yards passing for the day -- woo! -- and set up a short third down. The slant to Williams hasn't worked all day, and that doesn't either. Long figgie to cut it to 22? Nope. Instead, it's an apparent pick on an out to Stokley, but DPI is charged to get the first down. Not sure how that's a flag, but what the hey. From the fun at the Bear 19, Williams continues to be useless on a 5-yard drop. I think the Hawks could have the ball for the rest of the game and not score. From the gun against a blitz, it's Hasselbeck to Stokley for six yards, and the QB is getting hit all the time now. From the gun at the 14, it's a slant to Stokley that works, and the Hawks have it at the 2. Hurry up gun throw to Williams, and Tillman eats him. You'd have no idea that Williams was any good from this game. Fade to Obomanu misses, because the WRs do not get off the line. Gun on third, and Hasselbeck finally gets it to Williams with a little room, as the WR shields off Manning. A Hawk touchdown! After only 49 minutes of play! Bears 28, Hawks 10, and the dreams of a back door cover for Hawk bettors are alive. I'm also pretty sure we've seen the last Forte WILD!cat play ever. Or, at least, we should.

With Fox waiting on an onside kick, Mare tries a tricksy long squib, but it's covered by Knox at his own 26. Nice try. Forte for no gain, then takes a screen for an easy 19. Back door cover be damned! Slant to Knox for seven, though if I were Black, I'd be avoiding anything that could possibly cause a turnover. Taylor to the left for another first and 11 yards, and goes down to keep the clock moving. Incomplete to Olsen as Bear Fan chants about something or other, probably Packer related. Ah, it's "Green Bay Sucks." Well, OK then. A yard on second with eight minutes left. Third down blitz gets to the QB, and he throws it out of bounds to avoid the sack. Maynard's punt is caught by Graham at the four, and that's just perfect work by the special teams. They'll need that kind of precision next week, but not this one.

Hasselbeck from his end zone takes Forsett, who gets 15 after a long set up. Slant to Obomanu falls short. Seven minutes left. Drop by Williams on a 2-yard cross where the WR is moving backwards anyway. Yeah, this isn't a good team. Third and 10 is a coup de gras sack by Harris. Ryan's ninth punt of the day is a fair catch by Hester at midfield. 6:17 left in this all day dog.

Forte for four as Fox notices that the Bears have been better than the Seahawks. No, seriously. Five more on second, then a run-it-up long touchdown from Cutler to Davis, as Thomas just misses knocking the ball down. 40 yard touchdown makes it 35-10 Bears, and I think the Bears just covered the over.

Washington return, Forsett run that might have enved with injury, because the Hawks haven't enjoyed their day enough. Pump and go to Stokley for 21, the longest play of the day for Seattle. Um, whatever. Morrah for six and Urlacher pain, then nine. Cans all over the field, hobos lighting them to stay warm. Favrian flip to Washington for another first as Hasselbeck is doing everything he can to get his next contract. He finds Stokley for anoter 17 to the 4, then throws the worst touchdown pass in human history. No, seriously. It goes through Tillman's hands and into Williams for the score, and the Mare PAT makes it 35-17. Hasselbeck now has 2 TDs in this one, both to Williams, and that's why statistics mean nothing. Because Williams has stunk up the place today, and no points that the Seahawks scored matter in the least.

Mare for another onside kick. This one is hit hard into a Bear leg and bounces clean, giving the kicking team a real shot at it, but Black recovers. Carroll is all into the recovery, which says something, I think. Maybe that he's incredibly delusional, or illiterate. Three runs and an incomplete lead to a turnover on downs, along with a late flag on C Owen Kreutz, as the Seahawks continue their quest for the late back door cover. They just might do it, too! Hasselbeck hits Obomanu for a pretty long ball, then a slant to Stokley, and Seattle scores a touchdown in something like 15 seconds. That's just silly. Mare's PAT makes it 35-24, and if you had the Bears +11, you just got the worst push in the history of gambling. Well, say this for Seattle: they don't quit.

Mare's third onside kick of the quarter, and the first two were recoverable. Third time's the charm? Nope, as a big pop is fielded by Knox cleanly. Offsides is declined, Cutler takes two knees, and that is that. Chicago advances, and will host the Packers next Sunday for the right to lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Because there is no possible chance, no scenario, no conceivable moment or string of causality that could end in anything but a Patriots championship. But there's honor in just getting there. So congrats, Bears!

1 comment:

The Truth said...

"Chicago advances, and will host the Packers next Sunday for the right to lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Because there is no possible chance, no scenario, no conceivable moment or string of causality that could end in anything but a Patriots championship."

Bear Down, Chicago Bears....

You know that song is still lodged in your brain Shooter.

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