Thursday, January 6, 2011

Top 10 reasons why the Patriots can not lose

This blog has a long history of knowing just when it needs to bring its never-fail rooting interest to bear for the greatest good. So as you prepare for Wildcard Weekend (which, unlike the WILD!cat, actually does have the possibility of WILD!ness in it), it's time for you all to accept some Masstermind Wisdom.

This weekend's games will be fun to watch and all, but you don't really have to care about any of the games. Or even watch them. Since there will be no games involving the Patriots, and the Patriots can not be beaten.

It's impossible, really. Inconceivable!

Anyway, be assured that I am fully on board with the Patriot Juggernaut. We're going all the way, baby! No respite, no mercy, no quarter, no drama and no possibility of parole or pardon. By the time this next month is done, every person watching NFL football will know that they are either riding on the tank or smashed under it. So why not get on board with a winner? After all...

10) Unlike the 18-1 year, they are closing the year better than they started it, which means that they can't possibly be overconfident

9) Number one seeds from the stronger conference never lose

8) No one they will face in these playoffs can be as good as the Jake Plummer Broncos

7) The defense is young and emerging, and doesn't know enough about pressure to succumb to it

6) QB Tom Brady never gets injured, and even if he did get hurt, back up Brian Hoyer would just be like Brady was to Drew Bledsoe

5) Young tight ends never have critical, life-defining drops in big games that get played over and over and over again in future rehashes of their moment of failure

4) As Bengal Fan can attest, kicker Shayne Graham is money in the playoffs

3) The team has impeccable karma from avoiding any vestige of impropriety, scandal, or poor sportsmanship

2) Brady has never come up small in a playoff, unless you count Denver, and the Giants, and the Colts, and...

1) It's not as if any team in the playoffs has come to their field and blown them out in a playoff game a year ago

No comments:

Ads In This Size Rule