Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Top 12 reasons why Roger Goodell will take a $1 salary in the event of a lockout

The NFL Commissh is really putting his money where the owner's mouths are, isn't he? But as always... FTT has The Rest Of The Story...

12) Ready to die on the streets in the cold as a homeless man, just to protect the one thing he (sniff) loves

11) The dollar that he'll be paid is the same one the NFL forked over in the USFL anti-trust lawsuit, so it's a very meaningful buck

10) Plans on making up the lost income by taking lots and lots of office supplies

9) Knows the owners will need his $10 million salary to buy groceries and medicine for the baby

8) Is making more than enough from his night job as an assistant manager at Appleby's

7) Is that committed to an 18-game regular season and fewer concussions

6) Has it on good authority that the positions of Daniel Snyder's pool boy, food taster and ball washer are available

5) Knows that when the owners move to a lockout, their network partners / paid media geishas will refer to it by some other name, like "aggressive bargaining", "labor correction" or "sensitivity training", so he'll skate on the technicality

4) Has all of that helmet to helmet contact fine money to fall back on

3) Really wants everyone who reads the story to know that he makes $10 million a year, because what he does is so gosh darned hard, and could not possibly be done for anything less

2) Thinks that if he takes the salary cut, he'll be able to get back to his roots, when it wasn't about the money, but was all about the union busting, man

1) Because big showy meaningless gestures like this are always conducive to getting a deal done, rather than, say, winning a bullsquat PR battle over which side is more repugnant

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