Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Top 12 changes President Obama would cause at the Super Bowl

The President, an avid Chicago Bears fan, says that he's going to the game if his Bears are in it. No standing President has ever been at the game before, and as always, FTT has the inside scoop on how things would change.

12) Stephen Colbert given more reasons to fear and hate bears

11) Conspiracy theorists finally get an explanation for the Black Eyed Peas playing the halftime show

10) Blimp attack made even more tantalizing for terrorists

9) Senators from playoff team states that voted for McCain (Chiefs, Saints, Falcons) to launch retroactive protest

8) First Lady forced to develop obviously artificial back story and rooting interest for the AFC team

7) Security precautions go from thorough and annoying to TSA-style body cavity violations

6) As an extra precaution, Obama will not travel to the game in a convertible, and Arlen Specter is not allowed in the state

5) Fox News considers boycotting game, until it remembers that it's covering it

4) Obama to negotiate a 7-point loss for the Bears in a bipartisan compromise

3) Bitter honks to use the day as an excuse to complain about the President's priorities, as if anyone else is working that day

2) Bears' socialistic leanings reported on right wing Web sites

1) Go Daddy will somehow work out a T&A commercial from the news

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