Saturday, February 5, 2011

Top 10 benefits of an NFL lockout

Why dwell on the negative, people? Let's look for the happy in football's upcoming nuclear winter.

10) Finally, college football players outside of the SEC will make good money

9) More TV time for Roger Goodell, who is just a natural in front of the camera

8) We'll replenish the nation's stockpile of idle threats from fans

7) If the lockout lasts long enough, someone will figure out a way to lose a ton of money starting a rival league

6) Meathead ex-athlete announcers get to weight in on complex labor issues, since they have a unique perspective on these matters

5) Otherwise staunch defenders of capitalism get to pule for the return of their game, since collective bargaining has nothing to do with the free market

4) Advertisers discover that if they don't spend an absurd amount of money to advertise their product, people still actually know about them

3) A broad appreciation for the NBA, while it's still avoiding it's own hari-kari-esque lockout

2) A broad appreciation for MLB, until the season actually starts and people discover their fantasy league teams suck

1) The US Congress will find some way to grandstand on the issue while solving nothing, since the only role for government in pro football is to pay for stadiums, allow telecasts, make odd bets and try to be photographed with the winners

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