Thursday, February 10, 2011

Top 10 reasons why Jerry Sloan resigned

After an absurdly long reign, the Utah Jazz coach up and quit today. As always, we have The Rest Of The Story.

10) Couldn't face life without a healthy Mehmet Okur

9) Salt Lake City's winter wasn't bitter and cold enough this year

8) No matter how much he tried to change Deron Williams into John Stockton, the former remained black

7) Having spent the vast majority of his 68 years here, wanted to die doing something else

6) That one-year contract extension that he signed on Monday was a bitter, bitter negotiation

5) Couldn't stand blocking the ascension of Tyrone Corbin any longer

4) Finally realized that no matter what, he wasn't going to win Coach of the Year

3) Now that he's won his tontine bet with Jeff Fisher, has nothing left to motivate

2) Knew that if he didn't leave soon, he'd finally snap and tear Andrei Kirilenko to bits with his bare hands

1) Without Larry Miller around to provide daily bouts of homophobia, it just wasn't fun anymore

1 comment:

sportsfan1981 said...

I'm shocked to hear of his resignation after 23 years as head coach of the Utah Jazz. Nowadays, it's extremely rare for a player, manager, or coach to spend that much time with one organization. I can't believe how much the NBA has changed since he started coaching the Jazz. It will take a long time to get used to the fact he is no longer the head coach.

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