Friday, February 11, 2011

Top 10 reasons why NFL owners walked away from negotiations

10) It's the mature and thoughtful thing to do, since it shows how much respect you have for the other side

9) The public doesn't hate both parties so much that terrorist threats are commonplace yet

8) People were actually starting to pay attention to the NBA, so they needed to do something

7) Considering how excited people are about this, it just seems wrong to not have a lockout

6) The Fox-ABC-CBS-NBC news divisions, which are in no way conflicted in their coverage of this matter, haven't had time to establish how greedy and ungrateful the players are yet

5) Walking out of the meetings also kept people from thinking about those evil bastards who are daring to remain unhappy about getting ripped off for seats at the Super Bowl

4) Irate that the people who risk permanent injury and death in a relentless performance-based meritocracy somehow make over half of the revenue generated by the business

3) Needed to get back to PR efforts of how the league, despite the best TV rating in history, is a broken business model

2) Due to the NFLPA wanting to set an attendance record, there weren't enough seats in the room

1) They are, um, unconscionable money-grubbing scumbags who do not care a fig about the long-term viability of the league, so long as they can squeeze a few more dollars into their lives

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