Monday, March 7, 2011

Top 10 little known facts about Crygate

Heat coach Erik Spoelstra says the media has taken his comments about his team crying after their fourth straight loss out of context, and that the coverage has been overblown. What else isn't widely known about this?

10) Chris Bosh actually cries after every game, because he's so painfully aware of the passage of time

9) When Joel Anthony sweats, his musk is 90% onions

8) Certain Boston-LA-NY NBA media types just might -- might -- not be entirely unbiased when it comes to covering this Miami team

7) Stan van Gundy's just jealous that his never won a championship team didn't think to hold a victory celebration before the season began

6) You'd cry too, if you had to live with these terrible, terrible expectations (and, um, salary)

5) No man can be stoic when he looks into the sad, sad eyes and unfathomable pain that is Zydrunas Ilgauskas

4) LeBron James wants you to know that despite a cupcake Eastern conference schedule, mid-season additions and the fact that they can't win close games, the Heat's 43-20 and sixth overall record in the Association is plenty good enough, so there

3) Pat Riley makes them pick out the belt he will beat them with after every loss, which isn't exactly doing much for morale

2) They know that if they all took poison and DIED that we'd be totally sorry for all the mean things we said about them and they'd be all up there in Heaven, laughing down at us, and we'd never ever be happy again so there

1) Mark Cuban has finally been usurped as the NBA personality that people most enjoy watching lose in the first round

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