Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Top 11 Reasons Why Jason Peters Was Arrested

The Eagles' Pro Bowl (yeah, I'm not sure why either) tackle Jason Peters is free on a $628 bond after being arrested in Shreveport, LA for "violating the city's loud music ordinance and resisting arrest." After checking in with our Shreveport bureau (our tentacles are everywhere!), FTT has the inside scoop.

11) Peters really wanted to earn Philly Fan's respect

10) It wasn't so much that the music was loud, it just had so much treble, since that's what the kids are into these days

9) Shreveport cops would have let him off with a warning, but the cops were just offended that Peters didn't play in the Pro Bowl

8) Peters asked the worst question in the English language, "Do you know who I am?"

7) Preferential treatment is only applicable to Saints players in Shreveport

6) The town really needed that $628, since it triples the municipality's yearly revenue

5) Peters made the mistake of playing music while black

4) He was playing that damned Rebecca Black "Friday" song, so he's lucky he wasn't tased

3) Since two cops came at Peters at once, both were able to go right past him to put the handcuffs on

2) Just another example of the growing crime wave that we have to expect now that the NFL has locked out the players

1) If you are an NFL player that doesn't resist arrest, all of the other players make fun of you

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