Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Top 10 Actions Of Miller Lite Bartenders

What can I tell you... I've just seen too many of these freaking ads.

10) Stuffing food into the faces of men who are not obese, so that they can not fit into their pants

9) Denigrating the dark eyeglass choice of people who could be, for all that they know, blind

8) Chastising those who can fit into athletic swimwear at beach clubs

7) Abusing adults who have a comfortable enough relationship to spend time in public with their parents

6) Changing the brand reputation of a weak and tasteless beer to that of a weak and tasteless beer that's not served by castrating harpies

5) Denying service to anyone that does not conform to mainstream clothing choices

4) Trying to convince a wildly skeptical America that there is something manly in the activity of drinking this swill

3) Making every other beer ad campaign on the market seem wonderful by comparison

2) Introducing the concept of "Hate F***ing The Bartender" as the chief takeaway of an ad campaign

1) In their lone positive contribution to society, preventing people from buying or drinking Miller Lite

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