Monday, April 25, 2011

Top 20 Sunday NBA Playoff Takeaways

20) When Spencer Hawes, a 7-foot center, goes up to dunk against Dwyane Wade, a 6'-4" guard, bet on Wade to make the block

19) ABC showed Allen Iverson in a Pistons jersey in their collection of all-time playoff scoring leaders in a Sixers game, because I guess they couldn't find one of him in Grizz or Turkish gear

18) For a team that was supposed to have a better bench, the Sixers have gotten absolutely crushed in the second quarter of their games, mostly because that was when the Heat started to actually try

17) I'm not saying that LeBron James has felt comfortable in this series, but he joined the commentating team in the third quarter

16) The Heat are so bad in crunch time, they fell apart against a 20-year-old, a low-percentage gunner and an overmatched rookie

15) The Knicks were cited for a defensive three-second violation in a game where only two seconds came off the 24-second clock, because the refs were just matching the home team's concentration

14) You know that the game isn't competitive when the telecast chooses to discuss, of all things, Magic-Hawks

13) Boston really should bring a comically oversized prop switch to turn on before the start of the playoff season

12) ESPN's announcers were mortified that an anonymous NBA player would offer an accurate assessment of Kevin Garnett's character, and that ESPN The Magazine would sully its journalistic standing by printing it

11) Anthony Carter only got five minutes of the best game in his life, when he really needed ten

10) Jamal Crawford fulfilled his destiny to win playoff games that very few people care about

9) Orlando went 2-for-23 from the three-point line in a three-point loss, which might be more meaningful if they weren't terrible shots

8) Despite being up 3-1, it's kind of hard to see how Jason Collins is bothering Dwight Howard all that much

7) The Hawks caused the Magic to have more turnovers than assists, which is also kind of what happens when anyone plays the Magic now

6) Despite being a nip-and-tuck game that came down to the final shot, Magic-Hawks wasn't fun to watch, since no one imagines either of these teams advancing, and bad idea threes is just hard on the eyes

5) It's a shame that the Hornets don't have a player like Marcus Thornton, instead of having to play Marco Belinelli

4) Reggie Miller does not care that the Lakers are unbeaten when Kobe Bryant shoots less than 15 times a game, and should shoot more. In a related note, Reggie Miller's fingers are unencumbered by NBA championship rings

3) Watching the best playoff basketball while living on the East Coast means committing yourself to six weeks of compromised sleep

2) Pau Gasol spent crunch time alternating between goat and hero

1) Here's how good Chris Paul is: he can get triple doubles as a point guard, humiliate Andrew Bynum, make DJ Mbenge, Willie Green and Jarrett Jack look like actual basketball players, and talk about hitting his mother in the post-game comments while still being a hero to millions

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