Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Top 10 NBA Draft Lottery Takeaways

10) The only place where the Wolves lose more than on the court is at the lottery

9) This event remains the only reason why anyone in America has ever gone willingly to Secaucus

8) The Cavs will have two of the top four picks in next summer's draft, because the Clippers are just that giving, and the draft is in all likelihood just that bad

7) With the third pick in the draft, Utah will choose a guy from a part of the world that does not compare well to Salt Lake City, which takes work, really

6) The Cavs brought Bernie Kosar along with them for luck, which kind of shows a remarkable lack of knowledge about Kosar's time in Cleveland

5) David Stern calls the lottery the league's "annual rite of renewal", which is 100% true, since you can renew bad teams as well as good ones

4) Since Portland does not have a high pick, Ohio State center Jared Sullinger might be able to walk without crutches in five years

3) Since the Kings seems to be staying in Sacramento, their place fell in the lottery

2) Toronto also dropped in the rankings, which the team will somehow blame on Chris Bosh, taking over Vince Carter's historic role as Source Of All Misfortune

1) Cleveland was saved, and the Internet forever scarred, by the tragically diseased 14-year-old scion of a loan shark

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