Saturday, June 18, 2011

FTT Off-Topic: Self Cinema

As always with FTT O-T, this is Not Sports and the rest of the Internet awaits you, yada yada yada.

I'm writing this from the Shooter Wife's computer as she sleeps, because I am temporarily ride-less, a transitory condition brought on by the change in employment from one start-up to another. The last one went for four years until I ended it, and the last two weeks has been that awkward phase. I kept busy as best as I could, but man alive, that only really works for about a week. The new gig starts on Monday, and it's work from home after an initiation week in California. I fly out tomorrow morning.

I don't know about you, but when I go through times like that, where it's not just that You Are Leaving but that the finality of things kicks in -- no more daily walks through New York, no more of the things you do every day, no more seeing the people you hired or have worked with for years -- it's as if your consciousness leaves your skull. The body of me continues doing what it does, but the soul/memory/mind moves up and out, takes a 90-degree turn, moves off about 10 feet and begins a three-camera shoot. I felt this way during certain Big Moments, the ones where you know that you will remember this, but that you also know that what you are doing isn't that taxing. Walk across a stage, become a graduate. Walk to the subway for the last time. Drive down a road that you will never drive down again.

And try to figure out a soundtrack. This was mine for yesterday.

(Oh, and the goodbye roast? Some nice efforts from a few people, but what really struck me about it was how many people who would have gotten into it had already left the company. Four years is a long time, especially in a start up. Also, thanks to the nature of anonymous comments and the experience of being a wildly unpopular sports blogger, my skin is probably thicker than most. I should have written something for someone else to read, really: it might have gotten them to open up a little more. Live and learn.)

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