Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Cuckold Tour Continues

Keeping it on men who used to be QB1 for my laundry, Donovan McNabb is escaping the Washington hellmouth for Minnesota... and I'm pretty sure that you can buy his Redskins game jersey for however many empty cans you can find around the house, assuming the District's homeless are willing to barter, and you are OK with the significant laundry job ahead of you. Let's just say that any situation where you lose a job to John Beck and Rex Grossman is not one that you are going to look back on with too much fondness.

In Minnesota, The Man Who Used To Be Five will get to hand off to Adrian Peterson, throw to Visanthe Schiancoe and the presumably headache-free Percy Harvin, and look spry and nimble in comparison to the old assclown that had the job last year. He's also going to get cuckolded in a year by first round draft pick Christian Ponder, assuming he doesn't have a division winning year in him, and thank the Lockout Gods that Ponder has had no camp time to show that he's ready for the job early. But after his time in the District, he's probably far more willing to endure that kind of thing. It's just that amazing, really, that going to a place where the stadium collapsed and the season ended with a third-string WR under center... could be a clear upgrade. Nice franchise you've got there, Danny Snyder. (Is there still time for you to sue us?)

Oh, and just for funsies... the Redskins got back a sixth round pick for McNabb, after giving up a second. You have to love the Skins, especially if any of their "braintrust" comes to your poker game.

Since my team does not play the Vikings this year, I wish Don all the luck in the world and a rebirth that ensures his place in Canton. It would also help nicely if he could help take some of the air out of the Packers and Bears, both of whom look like significant threats. I think he could have fantasy value and/or relevance, especially if his offensive line bounces back from last year's fold job. Assuming the man's got pride, he might have all kinds of sneaky value... and if you don't think he's excited by the Week 15 Christmas Eve visit to DC? Um, he is. A lot. (Though I'm going to be a little more intrigued by the Week home game with Arizona.)

A final point to Viking Fan who is convinced that his franchise just screwed the pooch by bringing in another aging drama queen to retard the development of the young and promising... Don's really not like that. Unlike Bretty, he actually does seem to give a damn about his teammates, will accept blame when he plays badly, and won't be a guaranteed turnover machine. He won't save you -- he's too old, brittle, and inaccurate for that -- but he won't make you regret life in the profound ways that Bretty did. And had you gotten him a year ago, and let Voldemort stay dead? You'd have gone to the playoffs. (And lost, of course. But still, better than what happened. Though on second thought, I'm kind of glad that McNabb wasn't there when the roof collapsed, since I'm pretty sure that Rush Limbaugh would have blamed him for that as well.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As a former Redskin fan (I retired the day they cut Portis) I really liked McNabb. Never understood the hate for him what the hell happened last year (being benched). When your presumed starting QB can't even get into the building because no one knows who the hell you are...will it doesn't bode well for the coming year. Thank god for the upcoming NBA season and my champion Mavs...wait

Ads In This Size Rule