Tuesday, July 26, 2011

MLB TV Is Stone Cold Crack

In the great HBO series "The Wire" -- what, you haven't watched it, and you still are reading a sports blog in 2011? I won't report you to the authorities RIGHT NOW, but get on that -- there's a scene where various drug dealers are wandering around the bad streets of Baltimore, yelling out new names for the crack they are peddling. "WMD!" "Red Caps!" "Anthrax!" Et cetera, et cetera; the stronger the name they can come up with, the more the junkies will gravitate their way.

This is, of course, not exactly the product endorsement that MLB TV would want for their product... but it is, let us not kid ourselves, WMD. With a side of Anthrax. And I'm about to load up on a 2-month supply of it.

For reasons best left undisclosed, I now have access to the MLB.TV video access... and yes, I know that I'm years behind the true bleeding edge tech people here, but good God in heaven, the geek factor here? Off the freaking charts.

Want to fire up, well, every game at once in your own personal TerrorDome of ball? Just run your laptop via an RGB cord into your television, crank up your broadband as high as it will go, and strap yourself into the recliner for hours upon hours of non-movement. The only limit is blackout restrictions, which still means you get live audio.

Want to see every single at bat and pitch of your fantasy league lineup, live as they are happening? Just tell the happy little app who want to see -- it took me, oh, less than five minutes -- and it'll do that for you as well, with highlighted copy when your guy is coming to the plate or toeing the rubber. If you are OCDish enough (and if you are wondering if I am, you haven't read the blog long enough), you can pretty much sink yourself into a chair and not be seen again for an evening or more.

This does not, of course, make for a happier geek, or even a more successful one. Now instead of, say, learning how the glasslike Chipper Jones is out of the lineup in my weekly moves league at the end of the day, I get to see it in real time. Along with the pummeling of my pitching staff, the blown saves that bedevil my occasional chances at a win, or the closer working in non-save situation that seem to make the most of my guys appearances. It also means you can even go picture in picture for highlights, and all of this functionality is just what I've learned in the first hour of fiddling with it.

You also get access to all of the local telecasts, and folks, the homerism out there is Not Subtle. It also means that your chance of seeing Hawk Harrelson just went up exponentially, and that can't be a good thing. I've already seen one of my slobs whiff and another pop up with a man on third and nobody out; this app is clearly Bad Luck, along with being Bad News.

But all of that is quibbling, really. I may never watch baseball through cable again, or less than 2-3 games at a time. It's just that crack-tastic, enabling, and gatewayish. Ask for it by name.

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