Sunday, July 10, 2011

Of Course

I don't have anything personal against Derek Jeter. But man alive, it's as if he's got something personal against me.

The defining moment of the Jeter Era for me is, of course, the out of nowhere flip play to get Jeremy Freaking Giambi ast the plate, which started the whole avalanche against my A's in the ALDS that shows up in my nightmares. Until that play, my team didn't know fear, didn't know failure; they had gone straight into the old Yankee Stadium and punked the favorites twice, with the new age pitching dominance showing how serious they were. On the hill for Oakland in that game was Barry Zito in his long-ago forgotten dominant era, and all he needed was one freaking run. The run that Jeter prevented, by virtue of a play that no one else makes before or since, including Jeter himself.

But of course he makes that play; he's Derek Jeter. About as much fun to root against as the house in a casino.

Today in New York, against David Price. the ace of my not good enough to win back money, but good enough to keep me on the hook for all damn year fantasy team... well, he crushes a 3-2 curve for a home run and his 3,000th hit. He got three more on the day, including the game-winner. It's one of a handful of good games for him this year: at age 37, he's well into his Liability Phase, and the Yankees are already regretting his contract.

Just not today, of course.

Jeet becomes just the second man ever to have Hit 3,000 leave the yard; Wade Boggs is the only other one. The last home yard shot for him was nearly a year and 300 at bats ago; it was an inside the park job. The last one to leave by conventional means was on 6/12/10. The big day brought him up to a whopping .270 with 3 HRs and 24 RBIs, and it only just seems like all of them have come against my pitching.

The game notes also hit that his girlfriend, the ridiculously hot Minka Kelly that you might remember from "Friday Night Lights", was also on hand. Of course she was. He also becomes the first New York player to get 3,000 hits (that includes the Giants, Dodgers and Mets). He then went home and made savage love to Kelly and three other women, while a harem, slowly fanned him with parasols made of $100 bills, pausing only to laugh a simple little awestruck laugh over how much fun it is to be him, and how sad it must be for everyone who is not.

Of course he did. He's Derek Freaking Jeter. I've never owned him in any league, never wished for him to do well, and dream that one day, he'll just stop playing and Make The Hurting Stop, knowing that so long as he's facing a team or pitcher that I'm rooting for, that's just not going to happen.

Not that there's anything personal to it, of course. Of course.

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