Friday, October 28, 2011

A Brief And Not Very Charitable Moment About Terrell Owens' Rumored Suicide Attempt

So there's rumors on the Interwebs that prior to that tryout that no NFL team bothered to attend, everyone's favorite media trainwreck tried to do himself harm with prescription pills.

Scholars of this sideshow will note that this story echoes the 2006 incident in which he seemingly did the same thing, only with a publicist that had no clue about, well, anything, spouting into a microphone. (Oh, Kim Etheredge. Such a promising career, that.)

Now, far be it for me to mock someone who is battling depression. I've known too many people that have struggled against the same issue, and have periodically been there myself...

But, um, TO?

*Girls* try to take themselves out with pills. Not enough of them, in places where they will be found, so that the whole world can stop everything and exclaim with horror as to the loss and our need to help.

*Men*, especially men who are used to violence and shows of masculinity, go for something more mechanical, with very little regard for housekeeping.

Me, personally? If faced with the prognosis of spectacularly painful and expensive wasting disease, I'd take a truly heroic level of conscious-altering things, and shoot for the idea of an eternity where my soul looks back and says, "Well, at least I didn't dip into the pool a toe at a time."

But that's me; an actual guy rather than a fake one, someone who will take a spotlight only on my terms, a person with more self-respect than a reality TV "star", someone who tries very hard not to overstay his welcome or make my problems into someone else's.

You, sir? Not so much.

And maybe that, rather than the lack of an NFL team willing to put up with your butter-fingered dotage, is the issue, don't you think?

Play us out, Frank...

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