Friday, October 7, 2011

Top 12 consolations for Yankees Fans

12) Let's face it... Detroit needs this a hell of a lot more than you did

11) It's not as if a season-ending game where you squander opportunity after opportunity is going to make you miss baseball at all

10) At least you got to see another home game before your team spit the bit

9) A-Rod went down swinging, in the moment he says he relishes

8) With the ALCS being Detroit and Texas, no one in the national media will make you think about baseball for another six months

7) You all had to be happy for that jolly fat man Jose Valverde

6) If your team can't beat Doug Fister in a do-or-die game, there's not much reason to want to continue watching them anyway

5) Given the usual length of their games and your 7th inning wankery, you all now have 20 to 70 hours of your lives back

4) With a hitless ALDS, A-Rod's bound to come back strong in 2012, with love in his heart for all of his friends in New York

3) This won't count against Ivan Nova's pretty regular season won-loss record

2) For once, you can't really blame Mark Teixeira, and Robinson Cano is still all kinds of cool

1) By losing, you get to continue to tell the lie that a lack of meaningful revenue sharing doesn't make your team's annual trip to the post-season a foregone conclusion, so the system's not broken at all


Anonymous said...

Nova did get the know you only have to go 5 to get the win right?

DMtShooter said...

(Fixed; thanks)

Anonymous said...

The NYY should be embarrassed every year that they don't win a Championship.

Teams like TB, Twins, A's and others should all get GM's of the year and Managers of the year just for making a race out of it every couple of years.

Some day when baseball actually hires a Commissioner maybe, just maybe they will make sure there is a salary cap and every team can compete just as football does.

Baseball and the NYY are a joke

Sports Chump said...

Nicely done, sir.

Couldn't happen to a nicer team.

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