Sunday, November 27, 2011

50 Eagles - Patriots Takeaways

On a ridiculously balmy late November day in South Philadelphia, the season is, once again, all on Vince Young. Just how we all dreamed it up back in August, right? Let's wallow, one last time.

50) Young to Riley Cooper on deep balls should only work in preseason, if at all

49) LeSean McCoy's touchdown run took about five seconds longer to signal than it should have, and was our first sign that the refs were in the tank for Team Dreamboat

48) Rob Gronkowski and the TE-centric Patriots passing attack might be the living definition of a bad matchup for this defense

47) Whenever Dreamboat gets hit without a flag, we need to be thankful, and it needs to be shown, over and over again

46) Jamar Cheney had excellent coverage on one play by falling down

45) As the season has gone on, Alex Henery has looked a little less suspect

44) The Eagles had 12 men on the field to stop a third and two running play, and still didn't have enough

43) If you had 3:27 left in the first quarter and on defense in this week's inexplicably wasted timeout pool, you win

42) The extended conversation before the Derek Landri offsides call was clearly more important than, say, showing us a replay and giving us all another point of evidence as to how the refs were in the tank for Team Dreamboat

41) The Patriots offense against the Eagles defense in the red zone is kind of a foregone conclusion

40) When Evan Mathis commits a holding penalty, you can grab Young's facemask without any kind of retribution

39) As we've learned over the years while watching Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick, doing illegal things to athletic black QBs is just OK

38) Mike Patterson's sack on Brady made us all far too happy, but when you root for this laundry, it's all about moments, since actual games don't much happen

37) Tiquan Underwood made Patriot fan long for Chad Ochocinco, not that it mattered for long

36) The fourth quarter blown lead came really early this week

34) Pushing the WR out of the way to make an interception isn't defensive pass interference if you are a Patriot

33) Stephen Gostkowski's missed 39-yard-figgie appeased karma, if only breifly, and made Dreamboat curse like the mean girl he is

32) Chad Hall got a carry, which was as pointless as ever

31) Hitting the punter is OK if you are a Patriot

30) If the Eagles don't sack Dreamboat, and the Patriot receivers don't drop the ball, this defense isn't making "stops"

29) The Dreamboat touchdown pass to Welker in the second quarter redefined easy in our time, and should be a prominent part of any Juan Castillo highlight reel

28) Bill Belichick challenged a kickoff return to get eight yards, which is just the kidn of dickish twaddle that we've come to expect of him

27) Brent Celek nearly pulled a DJ after catching a ball in the red zone

26) Why Coach For Life Reid calls so many passes in the red zone with an INT-prone backup QB, when he has the best RB in the NFL, is one of those mysteries of life, really

25) Oh, and by the way, those three passes happened with 2+ minutes left in the first half, and a white-hot Dreamboat against a terrible defense on deck

24) Eagle Fan isn't going to miss DJ very much when he drops this many balls

23) When Dreamboat slides, he bring up a five foot divot, because he is actually made of lead

22) When you move from your stance, it's always defensive offsides, if you are a Patriot

21) Brady snuck for six yards, because once again the Eagle defense forgot to do something done at the Pop Warner level, which is to say put a man opposite the center so that the QB can't just stroll forward for easy yards

20) Keeping track of down and distance with this defense against Brady just seems kind of pointless

19) Gostkowski hit from a longer distance, because long field goals always work against my laundry

18) Young promised to run more this week, which really wasn't helpful

17) The CBS analysts chided Eagle Fan for being too negative, since teams that lose 8 out of their last 9 home games need to be shown a lot of love

16) The coverage teams took a step backward today, which is like saying that the wine list on the Titanic started to suffer late in the voyage

15) The nice thing about the soft Eagle coverage is that when they don't tackle, it's also first downs, too

14) It's not offensive holding if you are a Patriot

13) The Eagles' best defense against Brady might have been the turf

12) The Eagle defense started faking injuries, which is always a confidence builder

11) You will forgive. I trust, Eagle Fan for leaving at halftime, since the game was more or less over in the first quarter

10) I'm very glad that the team got so many great CBs to stop WRs like Welker from scoring multiple TDs

9) Dan Dierdorf chided Young for not leading Jason Avant on a pass, giving him a chance to do more with the play, which plainly showed that he's never watched Avant run after a catch

8) Whenever Julian Edelman makes a tackle, grown men weep, since special teams WRs can never tackle

7) Young's fourth and 1 throw out of the back of the end zone more or less typified the season: an inexplicable play call from a clueless coaching staff

6) Watching DJ coast on plays in the late going, then drop another ball in the end zone, gives us all kinds of encouragement for his long-term pay grade

5) Third and 10 wide receiver screens should not work against any defense, but that involves actually caring about your job and stuff

4) Gronkowski was too bored on his touchdown to really give the spike the usual effort

3) If Chas Henery hits an 18 yard punt when no one is left in the stadium, does it really happen

2) It was nice of the refs to even up the penalty flags after the game was over

1) Poignant shots of sad Eagles on the sideline are kind of hard to come by when so few players actually seem to care

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