Sunday, November 20, 2011

A Brief Point About The Average Pro Hoop Salary

"No American professional sports leagues ever had a higher average salary." - Bill Simmons

And... no American professional sports league ever has 12 players play 100% of the games, and stars that play up to 80% of the available game time.

Imagine how much Roy Halladay would make if he pitched, say, 800 innings a year -- well, that's simple, actually. Just take his current salary and multiply by 3; $60 million a year. Maybe more, since you'd have greater competition for his services, so let's call it $75MM. Or how much Tom Brady would make if football was a 5-on-5 game; by the simple math, $40 million, since we're cutting the payroll in half by dropping so many players off the roster. And once more, I'm undercutting him; Dreamboat would probably sign for $50mm, easily.

So why would Prince Willy fail to note such an obvious and ridiculous easy point? Because, well, he's paid by a corporation that broadcasts NBA games, and can only go so far to biting the hand that feeds? Or that he's just totally invested in his Celtic laundry, since the NBA has done little in its history other than bend over backwards for that team? Well, um, duh.

"The players claim it's not their fault that owners keep handing out lavishly dumb deals to forgettable players, and yet they ignore that their fans — the people who pay their salaries and keep their league afloat — hate nothing more than seeing overpaid assholes jogging through games, faking injuries, showing up for camp 20 pounds overweight, clogging their team's salary cap and making it harder to improve their team's roster."

Actually, what we hate nothing more than not having games. That's kind of more important than if some player is dogging it. (I kind of enjoy players that dog it, particularly if they aren't on my team. And so does the Prince.)

Here's a small question to the rest of us who work in the real world: have you *ever* been at a company where there were no overpaid assholes? Or people who take sick days awfully easy? How about folks who are overweight and/or smoke, driving up the cost of *your* health coverage, assuming you want to be that kind of glibertarian assmunch? Or others who don't perform at the best of their abilities, at whatever time and for whatever reason?

Right now as I write this, it's 4am on a Sunday morning. I'm taking a small amount of time away from working my day job to post this. No, seriously; I work from home and there's a flood of stuff that needs to be done, and, well, I'm just stupid enough to do it now, because there aren't enough hours in the week. Should I spend my time railing against co-workers who might not be willing to pull my hours, or just get it done? Yeah, the latter. And will.

You see, the number of bad contracts or unmotivated players is a smokescreen. They happen on every team, in every organization, and are a problem for every manager. The only difference between your company and the NBA is that there are only about 200 people on the planet who can do the NBA job at the highest level. And if you don't motivate those players, or choose the guys that are just looking to cash out after winning the lifetime athletic lottery, that's a management issue. Thinking that an ownership proposal will fix that is like thinking that if you only cut labor salaries enough, you can repeal laws of gravity and inertia. But of course, what would Prince Willy know about working in the real world anymore?

We now return you to a world in which professional basketball is not played by the best players in the world, and might not be for years. It is also a world in which people can view games via the Internet with comparative ease, and care more about players than teams.

Finally, these players will not now, and will not ever, take the initiative of starting their own league, and will gladly sit out for years while the whole matter is decided in court.

Seriously, can't someone start their own league already and end this nonsense?

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