Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Top 10 reasons why the NBA players rejected David Stern's ultimatum

10) After 130 days of lies, had a hard time believing that he was telling the truth today

9) Wondering just why they need these owners anyway, since the public knows their names already, and would happily pay to see them play without wearing special magic laundry

8) Have decided that playing games while it's still nice weather outside is kinda lame

7) Saying no to David Stern also means saying hell no to Michael Jordan, and go take a flying leap at a rolling donut to Paul Allen

6) Don't want to miss out on the chance to decertify their union, since that's the most fun thing to do ever

5) Know that when the history of their lives as players is written, it will be entirely about their ability to fight for system issues

4) Refusing to cave means that they've got more time to join OWS, write that novel, and be better fathers and husbands

3) They don't want to take a bad deal by ultimatum, preferring instead to take a bad deal by capitulation

2) Somehow don't trust the media that broadcasts the games when they tell them that they aren't ever going to get a better deal than this

1) Know that if the lockout lasts long enough, they'll take out the last 26 remaining NBA fans in the world

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