Thursday, December 1, 2011

40 Eagles - Seahawks Takeaways

At the start of the year, I was going to take the Shooter Mom, an ardent Eagles fan who remembers when they actually were champions, to a game. Seattle was in consideration; I love the city, the stadium looks pretty, and I like to go to places that we haven't been to. Thank the stars we didn't choose this game, in the cold, in the utter irrelevance, in the dog days of the most disappointing season in franchise history. But according to the statheads, my laundry has a 2.5% chance of making the post-season, and 1.4% of the teams that are 4-7 make the promised land. So, enough of all the negativity. The season's turning around tonight! Either that, or I'm already drunk. Let's get to it!

40) Shady McCoy is said to be moving gingerly in pregame warmups, which means that Coach For Life Andy Reid will finally give him a lot of carries

39) Seattle started with 10 men on offense, a motion flag and a botched shotgun snap, which kind of set the tone for the whole, um, national telecast

38) For the 11th straight game, the Eagles started with a pass play, because no one expects that... or the godawful INT to Riley Cooper

37) If you had 12:15 in the first quarter and pointless replay challenge for this week's wasted timeout in the pool, you win

36) The 26-yard strike to Ben Obomanu down the middle proves that you don't need a TE to be wide open against the middle of the Eagles defense

35) It's totally unfair of Marshawn Lynch to keep trying on stopped running plays and score touchdowns with effort

34) Lynch eats candy after touchdowns, which means his teeth aren't going to survive this game

33) Only Coach For Life Andy Reid can make Riley Cooper fantasy relevant, and even then, not really

32) Jason Babin got another sack, and appeared to be as happy as a player on a relevant team

31) Danny Watkins was so scared by an apparent blitz, he started blocking rather than wait for the ball to be snapped

30) Lynch would embarrass the Eagles defense if that unit was able to be embarrassed

29) At this point in my Eagles fandom, I'm more or less resigned to the idea that they'll never have another good LB again

28) If you are wondering who to throw it to against this defense, just find Kurt Coleman and throw it that way

27) It was nice of Asante Samuel to shove Lynch into the end zone at the end of his 40 yard touchdown run, since he might not have gotten in otherwise

26) Reid actually gave the ball to McCoy twice down deep this week, at least in the first quarter

25) Golden Tate's 25 yard pass play, where Nate Allen whiffed, was more or less the story of the season in microcosm; the Eagle defense running very quickly to miss

24) When it's third down, you want to have McCoy on the bench and Chad Hall getting targets

23) Beating on Nnamdi Asomugha until he can't get up is not offensive pass interference

22) Of course the Eagle players love Coach For Life Andy; he doesn't ask them to do too much

21) Young trying to read a zone reminds us that Wunderlic scores do matter

20) Coleman is really good at wrapping up his man 30 yards downfield after the completion

19) With one minute left in the half, Reid did not call a timeout, because he would rather go into the locker room with two unused timeouts and an offensive team that's wondering why the hell they aren't even trying

18) Young appears to be operating under the delusion that he's fast enough to scramble effectively

17) Chris Clemons yelled at Andy Reid, but since he's not a WR, it's not a penalty

16) Cooper's deflection to INT shows that he does, in fact, have something in common with the other Eagle WRs after all

15) Joselio Hanson drew the short straw of getting exposed in the highlight level touchdown catch this week

14) On the bright side, Young might have a future as a blocker

13) On fourth and one for the "season", they actually gave it to McCoy, proving that even the dimmest coaching staff might learn in time

12) Reid's efforts in hurry up offense remain, as always, sparkling

11) It's defensive holding (without a number being given by the refs) even if the ball is tipped, because even the zebras want Coach For Life Andy gone

10) Once a game, whether the Eagles need it or not, a linebacker makes a play that teaches us that every blind football player stumbles upon a ball carrier

9) The second wasted timeout because they can't count to 11 for a punt team is in no way indicative of a coaching failure

8) So many years after the gruesome end of the Super Bowl, Reid still has no clue how to run a hurry up offense

7) Just in case any NFL team had any idea that Young should be given the keys to a franchise, please watch the TAInt and post-play crying fit a few dozen times

6) It says something about my level of Eagls fandom that I busted out laughing during the TAInt

5) Once more with feeling, children: you are not a talented football team if you lead the league in turnovers, you are just a crappy one

4) As any QB that isn't Donovan McNabb turns into AJ Feeley in Reid's presence, maybe it's time to reconsider McNabb's accomplishments

3) Pete Carroll went for a rub in the nose kill shot on 4th and 6 while up 31-14, because he really respects his opponent

2) Honestly, the idea that this Eagles team was favored, and that 7 out of 9 people picked them in an online pool to win tonight, shows you just how much people are not actually watching games, rather than reading the stats

1) If there is a single reason for seeing this coaching staff retain their jobs in 2011 for any reason other than a grand exercise in theatrical cruelty, I can't think of it

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