Thursday, December 8, 2011

Top 10 reasons why the Angels signed Albert Pujols for a quarter of a billion dollars

10) No one connected with the team or fan base remembers Mo Vaughn

9) As the only MLB franchise in Los Angeles, they've got the market share to afford him

8) Fully expect to have sold the team by the end of this contract

7) Believe that he's the only man capable of living up to the awesome legacy of Wally Joyner

6) Really tired of the Rangers kicking sand in their faces

5) Pretty sure he can speak Spanish, or at least, Los Angelese

4) First basemen always get better with age

3) He'll magically transform the bullpen into lockdown closers, like he did in St. Louis

2) Can't wait to spend eight figures on a DH for 3 to 5 years

1) With luck, no one will remember the salaries of Vernon Wells and Torii Hunter now

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