Saturday, December 24, 2011

Top 60 Eagles - Cowboys Takeaways

The first meaningless game in the history of my laundry in years. But dammit, the takeaways do not end the season early!

60) Chad Hall is much better at taking a knee on deep kickoffs than Dion Lewis

59) Mike Vick had the presence of mind to throw up a jump ball to Riley Cooper after a face mask, leading to a 41-yard catch and flag, and an injury to the wideout

58) Brent Celek's return to relevance continues, just in time for people to get fooled into taking him next year in fantasy

57) This game stopped mattering at 4:27pm, when Mark Sanchez took a safety and ended the season

56) Effective blitzing and the Giants putting it away made the Cowboys bench Tony Romo with a quickness

55) Jason Babin hit Romo's hand with his helmet, which is bound to be a 15-yard penalty and a fine next year

54) Not to cast doubts on the severity of Romo's injury, but I'm pretty sure he was quoting Rodney Dangerfield's lines from "Caddyshack"

53) Stephen McGee in for Romo isn't going to help Jason Babin's chances for breaking Reggie White's sack record, if you need something to feel good about today

52) Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie made a nice break on a ball, one play after getting schooled for a first down, which is basically the essence of the DRC Experience

51) On two straight completed screens, the Cowboys lost five yards, showing a little more hope for 2012 Linebackers

50) Vick avoided a safety for a 20-yard pickup to Jeremy Maclin, and all it cost was the health of both players

49) DeSean Jackson on an end-around when the line makes some blocks just seems crazy easy, really

48) As the year has gone on, Shady McCoy has started to take those "Barry Sanders" comments a little too much to heart

47) The late hit on Jeremy Maclin was so obvious, it got three different flags

46) Jason Avant's turnover from a touchdown is one of those super skill plays that only a remarkably well-coached team that should have the same coach forever can make

45) It's kind of noteworthy that the Fox broadcast crew didn't know the rule, or more likely care, on Avant's turnover

44) Dez Bryant argues no-calls better than any Dallas WR since Michael Irvin

43) Vick had so much time to throw on the play that started the drive with 55 seconds left in the half, it killed the clock

42) I'm not saying that this game lacked drama, but I did fall asleep for a significant amount of time

41) It really would have been nice to see this team play a season where they showed any sense of heart, clue, or timing

40) DJ was clearly more excited by Maclin's touchdown than, well, Maclin

39) Anyone who thinks this Cowboys defense is ready to win a playoff game is high

38) I'm not sure why Rob Ryan is a genius, unless being pregnantly fat as a male requires genius

37) Cullen Jenkins shed a block and stuffed the runner on third and short, wrapping up the Most Valuable Free Agent signing award of 2011

36) Chad Hall successfully lulled the Cowboys' special teams to sleep with fair catches, then actually made a decent return

35) Vick's moves on the penalty play for throwing the ball beyond the line of scrimmage defined "sandlot", as well as "insane" and "dangerous"

34) The subsequent intentional grounding call showed that Vick sometimes (all the time?) cares more about highlight shows than intelligence

33) The Eagles celebrated a special teams play that resulted in a 15-yard flag, because apparently hitting a punt returner who does not signal for a fair catch and squats a little when the catch is made is now a flag

32) Martellus Bennett showed that you don't need to be TE1 to make hay against the Eagles

31) Nate Allen hit Miles Austin on a play where the WR redefined the phrase "alligator arms"

30) When the Dallas defense gets a semblance of a pass rush, Ryan seems just a hair more genius-like

29) Chas Henery seemed inspired by the Jerrytron, at least until late in the game

28) Trent Cole's 10th sack of the year was downright manly

27) Romo's original hand cast with ice pack barely fit in the stadium

26) The TE screen to Celek that went for 39 yards was aided immensely by Terence Newman ignoring the play

25) At some point, you have to wonder if you can really win games with a QB that gets as many passes knocked down as Vick does

24) Alex Henry has now made 13 straight field goal attempts, which means special teams coach Bobby April must also be retained in 2012

23) Juqua Parker's slingshot sack, while in no way dirty, would also be a fine against a superstar QB

22) Chad Hall has clearly taken over for DJ on punt returns, only about two months too late

21) McCoy limped off the field with a clearly audible f-bomb

20) DeMarcus Ware's 18th sack of the year was fairly gruesome, and inspired the rare third down concession draw from Reid

19) Henry actually crushed a 51-yard figgie, by far his best effort of the year, then impeded a possible touchdown kickoff return

18) Brian Rolle nearly had a TAInt, but that would have required him to have hands

17) McCoy went off on a cart, but came back later, which seems like it's just being down for personal stats

16) The Cowboy loss ensures that the NFC East division champion won't have ten wins for the first time in 40 years, which seems to come as some kind of shock to people who are paid to cover football, as if it's news that the division isn't very good any more

15) Derek Landri's sack showed that the only guy the Cowboys are blocking today is Jason Babin

14) Seriously, Bryant never finishes a play without some kind of anger, which doesn't bode well for his professional future

13) McGee telegraphs screens like nobody else in the league, but to be fair, you probably would as well if you got hit half of the times you dropped back to pass

12) On fourth down and trying to preserve the shutout, Bryant beat Nnamdi Asomugha, just to continue the streak of guys beating Nnamdi in the fourth

11) Jason Witten passed Drew Pearson in the all-time Cowboys receiving records in fourth quarter garbage time, which might have been the first real cheer heard from the home crowd today

10) Joselio Hanson broke up a touchdown pass to save the shutout, which is the closest thing to clutch that happened in this game

9) Henery had a punt blocked with 25 seconds left, maybe out of sleepiness

8) McGee showed some top-drawer athleticism to avoid a sack and keep the non-shutout hopes alive

7) For the second straight game, Miles Austin scored a meaningless score late and seemed to care hard about it

6) The loss of the shutout shows that April must go

5) Ronnie Brown recovered a squib kick, which might have been one of his more useful plays of the year

4) The win gives the Eagles a chance to go .500 with a win against Washington, which must matter to someone

3) The idea that you can lose the division when you are 4-1 in it is all kinds of Raiders special, really

2) The amount of drama that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman gave to the Cowboys avoiding the shutout was laudable

1) I can't bet against the NFC East winner in the playoffs fast enough

1 comment:

snd_dsgnr said...

I would pay every dime I have to my name to never have to hear Joe Buck or Troy Aikman call a NFL game again. Their involvement is the only thing that kept the SuperBowl win over New England from being a completely transcendent experience for me.

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