Saturday, January 7, 2012

Wild Card Saturday Takeaways

Big ups to the Five Tool Ninja, who lent me a machine and hosted my spawn for the games today. Good times.

> No offense to Bengal or Texan Fan, but when you hear the phrase "playoff game" in connection with these two teams, it doesn't really compute

> In the final analysis, yes, the Bengals are too dumb to win

> You couldn't get an easier game for a rookie QB to win than at home, with a running game, against an opponent that's too dumb to win

> Houston took a delay of game penalty rather than a timeout while killing the clock in the fourth quarter, which is one of those things you really appreciate when you root for Andy Reid

> I've seen a lot of bad tackling this year, but Chris Crocker's effort on Arian Foster's fourth quarter touchdown run redefines the art

> Bengal Fan can be excused for wondering just what he has to do to get past the Marvin Lewis Era

> James Joseph didn't have a teammate to celebrate with, so he bumped with the mascot

> It's a good thing Arian Foster carved his hair that way, on the off chance that he had to play without a helmet

> There's really very little chance that the Ravens won't turn this team into hamburger next weekend

> Charles Barkley could become even more popular if he just broke a steel chair on Rodney Harrison

> NBC's pre-game interview of Jim Schwartz allowed HD viewers a very good idea of Michele Tafoya's hair color

> True to form, Pierre Thomas had a big run then got hurt

> Given how easy the Lions' first two touchdowns looked, it seems odd that there weren't more of them

> NBC fellated Jonathan Vilma for being the QB of the defense, despite the fact that the defense wasn't, well, very good

> The Lions got totally hosed on the fumble they could not return

> Nick Fairley went WWE on a RB, which is OK, since RBs are not WRs or QBs

> Detroit's first half defense made this resemble an actual football game, which meant most of the audience was probably disappointed

> Robert Mecham's drop on the third quarter bomb would have been more excusable if he heard footsteps

> Detroit Fan can be excused for thinking that the Marques Colston third-down spot was indicative of a greater conspiracy

> Charger Fan can be excused for wondering what his team would look like had they kept Darren Sproles, Drew Brees or Michael Turner

> That freaky jump sneak from Brees on fourth and inches from his own 38 was special

> The next time that the first Lion defender to touch Pierre Thomas will take him down will be the first

> Jimmy Graham chose to share his touchdown celebration with the mascot, proving that he's forgotten the value of a touchdown

> Matthew Stafford touchdown was all kinds of manly

> "Wild Card Turd" was shown thanks to the position of Al Michaels and Cris Collingsworth, which made Blogfrica weep with joy

> Seriously, Charger Fan, you're just angry about not having Sproles anymore

> On the 56-yard kill shot to Devery Henderson, the WR was so open, he had to refrain from signalling for a fair catch

> Kyle Vanden Bosch's red contact lenses aren't such a good look when you are getting worked in the fourth quarter

> The Lions' inability to quit on offense makes that Saints to cover the spread bet no fun at all, really

> There's a very good chance that the Lions are good at comebacks just because that's the part of the game where they just throw it to Megatron

> The Saints' idea of killing the clock late is to throw bombs to the 1 yard line

> I understand Ndamukong Suh played in this game

> If your eyes goggle at Brees for throwing for 466+ yards tonight, you weren't paying attention to what Matt Flynn did to them last night, or what football is like now

> Jabari Greer's interception kept Johnson from setting an all-time NFL playoff record for receiving yards

> There's something wrong with Bernie Kosar still having the all-time playoff passing record

> Detroit's got a nice future, especially if they can get a secondary, a running game, and the ability to avoid Green Bay and New Orleans in future years

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