Thursday, February 16, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Ron Jaworski won't be on MNF this fall

10) ESPN somehow figured out how to lose rating points while broadcasting NFL games

9) New NFL concussion rules also apply to media boxes with oxygen-deprivation issues

8) Network can no longer afford royalty payments from 50 full pronouncements of National Foot Ball League per game

7) Jaworski forced the league to give the network the Rams and Jaguars on multiple occasions, as he was sure there were going to be fascinating teams to watch

6) Footage of him being swallowed by Lawrence Taylor has lost its humor value after the first 5,000 plays

5) Against strict network orders, and on repeat occasions, told the audience something they did not already know

4) Trifled with the unbridled power and rage of Merrill Hoge one too many times

3) ESPN had the valid concern that any more exposure to the MNF franchise would turn him into a bitter right-wing and reference-heavy ex-comedian

2) Now that Hank Williams Jr. is no longer with them, MNF does not have sufficient rowdiness to cover a 3-man booth

1) There is a God, and his next move of infinite mercy and peace will be to gut Jon Gruden like a trout

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