Friday, March 9, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Jonathan Papelbon slagged Boston Fan in comparison to Philly Fan

10) After a couple of weeks in Clearwater, clearly qualified enough to make a decision

9) Since Philadelphia is in the National League, they have to know about bunts, pinch hitting, and all of those other things that only super-intelligent people can comprehend

8) That much exposure to Dan Shaughnessy over the years will, in fact, make you stupider than that much exposure to Howard Eskin

7) As the Red Sox didn't want to spend a ridiculous sum of money on an increasingly unreliable closer, their fans must be stupid or something

6) He totally got booed there, which is never going to happen to him in Philly

5) Seriously, that accent just makes anyone sound developmentally retahhhhhded

4) As he compared baseball fandom in Boston to a religion, it's a pretty small step to posit that religion is stupid, too

3) Still bitter about having to change his theme music from some terrible Boston band to some terrible Philly band

2) Really missed being on the front page for flapping his gums

1) Um, kind of knows how the game is played by now, really

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