Wednesday, April 4, 2012

FTT Off-Topic: Why Does The Supreme Court Want To See My Junk?

As always, FTT O-T is part of a very big Internet, and you don't need to go any further to tell me to go write about sports. I do that. Just not now.

Astute readers of the blog have figured out my political leaning by now -- it's shockingly covert! -- but the Supreme Court went down a path that I'd like to think you don't need a political affiliation to find abhorrent. They decided, on a 5-4 margin that's the only way anything gets done now because Anthony Kennedy is the single most powerful man in the country, that the cops get to strip-search people arrested for any offense before admitting them to jail.

Note: this is for any offense.

Like, say, jaywalking. Or a parking ticket. Or anything else the cop can dream up.

Note: this is for any suspect. Even if the cops have no reason to suspect the presence of contraband.

Now, I'm a 42-year-old guy, a suburban homeowner, a father and a husband with no criminal record. My chances of getting arrested would require a "Breaking Bad" level of unfortunate problems and worse choices, assuming I don't volunteer for the experience as part of a political protest. In all likelihood, I'm not getting naked for cops any time soon.

But now? Maybe I should.

The thin -- skin-level? -- justification for this is that we can't second-guess the judgment of correctional officials who are trying to combat gang business. So for the 13 million people a year that go to visit people in jail, and the aid and comfort of the wildly profitable prison population... the 28 billion rest of us now get to give every damaged cop the ability to engage in wildly over the top abuse of each and every person he or she meets at work.

Oh, and we've also shown the Supreme Court to be spectacular hacks, authoritarian whores, or perhaps just people who really, really got turned on by the Abu Ghirab photos, and want to see new domestic product.

So, a modest suggestion for anyone who finds themselves in close proximity to Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, John Roberts or Kennedy...

Just take off your clothes. And the clothes of anyone else around you, particularly if you or they are obese, or having health issues, or want something looked at. Perhaps something with containment issues.

It just shows them the respect they deserve, no?

(And if you want to, as the Shooter Wife does, compare this to the need for an increasing number of politicians to decide what happens with your reproductive organs... well, I'll leave the rest of the math to you.)


CMJDad said...

It only applies if you are being locked up. So, not for traffic tickets, unless you have a lot of traffic tickets, the I suspect you should be strip searched.

But I agree with you. Why the need?

DMtShooter said...

Oh, the attitude you showed during that traffic ticket write up? Very bad. The officer felt threatened. And you looked just like this other fellow we wanted for something bad. Also, your name, bad luck, tripped something in the system. And that broken tail light...

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