Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Top 10 takeaways from Ryan Leaf's arrest

10) It's surprisingly easy to get arrested in Helena, Montana, seeing how they can pretty much play the game of Spot The Non-Relative

9) If he wants to get better at this career in crime, he really needs to stop wearing his old jerseys to work

8) We can't figure out why he's stealing prescription drugs, seeing how he didn't really play that much football as a young man

7) The press story says that the cops searched Leaf's home, which was a very kind thing to call the cardboard box

6) No one's told him how Canada, which is so close, really, has free health care and all of the painkillers you can eat

5) Unfortunately for Leaf, he does not have a right-wing radio talk show, so scarfing down huge amounts of Hillbilly Heroin is actually against the law

4) Every time his name comes up on a police blotter. Peyton Manning does a little fist pump

3) Leaf says that he is “confident that there will be further understanding when the facts are revealed," which kind of shows that he might not be out of that Denial stage of the inevitable rehab arc

2) Now that this has happened, it's put a weird kind of pressure on JaMarcus Russell

1) There's no truth to the rumor that with another arrest, the Chargers are retiring his number #16... since it's already pretty much de facto retired

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