Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Amar'e Stoudamire Saves Blogfrica

There really is a book, or a Lifetime movie, or some other melodramatic experience, waiting to be told about these New York Knicks. Tonight in Miami, Team Telenovela lost by 10 to the Heat, then punctuated the experience with Dumas (consonants dropped at the behest of my advertisers) big man Amar'e Stoudamire decided to show his displeasure by, I am not making this up, punching a glass fire extinguisher case.

No, seriously.

The glass shattered, as it's supposed to. It embedded in Stoudamire's hand, causing stitches, and requiring paramedics with his left arm in a sling.  He might have taken himself out of the series, such as it is, and the reaction of his teammates (Carmelo Anthony and Tyson Chandler) spoke volumes, in that they seemed genuinely amused by the stupidity of it all.

You see, Chandler and Anthony know that they are getting swept. They know that the Heat are better than them, even while healthy, left alone decimated by self and life-inflicted injuries. It's also the second straight year in which Stoudamire has bounced out (last year, it was a back injury), and you have to think that this is going to grease the skids to get him out of town... assuming, of course, that there is a franchise dumb enough to take him, and that deal, considering how bad the contract is.

It's the 12th straight playoff loss for the Knicks, and I'd like to, at this moment, publicly ridicule anyone who thought that this team was going to do anything in the playoffs. It's one thing to run the table in February with Jeremy Lin getting burn against an unprepared league, and another to make a move in April when Mike Woodson gives them a boost from having an actual coach that gives a damn. But in a best of seven, against some of the world's best basketball players, in a first round series -- and say this for LeBron James, his playoff problems have never come early, they've come late -- well, at some point you have to actually look at the players involved.

The Knicks have one-way guys; defense or offense, rarely both. Anthony has escaped the first round once in his career. Stoudamire is secretly terrible, even when he isn't doing breathtakingly stupid things. They were a 7 seed with cause, and they are going to have plenty of time to get their various bumps and bruises healed in short order.

So, Amar'e? Thanks for giving me, and everyone else in Blogfrica, something of actual interest to write about -- the idea that this wasn't just a momentary burst of Teh Dumb, but an existential burst of despair over, well, not being all that great at your profession. Or maybe just wanting to spend the next two dates in a suit, with the clowning being entirely your own.

And giving every hothead with a technical foul problem the opportunity to say, well, I might be an idiot, but at least I'm no Amar'e...

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