Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Top 10 Ways The Celtics Are Going To Increase Their Physicality Against The Heat

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick...
After last night's game one beatdown, the Boston Celtics have vowed that Game Two will be different, with point guard Rajon Rondo saying that some of the Heat players need to "hit the deck." Using our incredible deep sources, we've found out the Celtics' plans...

10) Rondo planning to dislocate Dwyane Wade's arm in obvious vengeance

9) Kevin Garnett to eat more garlic in pre-game to give his in-game woofing some teeth

8) Greg Stiesma to up his awkward flailing from Spastic White Man to Drunk Uncle at Third Hour of the Wedding Reception

7) Ryan Hollins to start throwing clotheslines on out of bounds plays, rather than his usual pulling guard move

6) Ray Allen to use voodoo to give the Heat ankles like his

5) All players and coaches to make sure that every technical foul ends with a chair shot

4) Paul Pierce to ride past the Heat bench in his Magic Wheelchair and bust up some toes

3) Sasha Pavlovic could definitely throws some bricks in their direction, assuming that the direction is fairly generous in size

2) Keyon Dooling to give them career advice and the number of his least favorite travel agent

1) Whatever it is, it will sure be spooky, veteran and all kinds of ill-tempered and mean, and far more successful than what those younger, more athletic and actually nastier Pacers did a round ago

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