Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Celtics - Heat Game Five Top 40 Takeaways

Just Accept That KG Will Play Forever
40) Chris Bosh returned to provide the incredible lift that only 12 minutes of play can provide

39) Doc Rivers may be the only coach in the NBA who seems to enjoy end of quarter interviews

38) Mike Miller's entire concept of defense seems to be falling down on contact

37) Boston got three bench points in the first 16 minutes, which meant they were at their usual production

36) Jeff van Gundy thinks we can eliminate flopping by changing the paint on the ground, because Jeff van Gundy has the mind of a six-year old that believes in Magic Paint

35) If First Half LeBron ever showed up in the last few minutes, we'd have to come up with all new insults for the man

34) Rajon Rondo missed his first five shots, which means the Celtics were in an immediate hole

33) James picked up his 10th rebound in the 27th minute, which is starting to make me wonder if he had a better supporting cast in Cleveland, since that team at least had some semblance of bigs

32) When Rondo starts 1 of 9, you really should not be in a tied game, which was where we were at 50-50

31) If this series does end in six in Boston, at least we'll be spared any more exposure to Miami Fan

30) Rondo's utterly inexplicable backcourt turnover with 6:30 left in the third quarter makes me wonder if he actually knew the rule

29) Sometime in the off-season, Dwyane Wade really needs to get his jump shot to actually work again

28) If this Udonis Haslem had played for Miami last year, they might not have gone boots up against the Mavs so quickly

27) The longer this series goes, the more Ray Allen's ankle resembles that of a basketball player

26) The idea that Miami could ever be a dynasty with two players killing themselves on minutes is just absurd on its face

25) Brendon Bass got a cheap technical, which was karmically avenged by Mario Chalmers missing

24) This series is the best set of games ever if you love block/charge calls

23) Garnett's easy walk down slam to tie the game at 60 is, in a nutshell, why Miami isn't a great team

22) Miller and Mikael Pietrus had more contact than the NFL on a 50-50 ball, but since neither guy is a star, it's a no-call

21) Miami's three point shooting was awful and constant, which is to say, two things that should not go together

20) Norris Cole was dramatically faster on his chasedown steal on Rondo with 9:20 left, like he was, well, Rondo

19) When Mikael Pietrus takes a flop, you really need to check for the Crouching Tiger aerial back flying wires

18) James Jones had some good minutes tonight, but you still wonder why the Heat didn't go to Bosh more in the fourth

17) Wade's block on a Bass slam that led to Rondo finding Pietrus for a three was just insane on many, many levels

16) I've truly never seen a Final Four series with more schizophrenic teams than these two, mostly because neither team has a bench that you'd wish on a lottery team

15) Both of these teams would rather punch and tap a rebound than secure it

14) Miami keeps trying to leak out for fast breaks, because they are more about highlights than points, and always have been

13) Chalmers came right back from a bogus tech to hit a go-ahead three that didn't last

12) I can tell Heat Fan, assuming he exists, that those 50-50 balls that result in wide-open Celtic threes never, ever even out

11) Jeff Van Gundy likes to count on national television and call it analysis

10) Judging from my Twitter feed, Celtic Fan has never, ever watched a stressful game, and just can't deal with the stress, oh, the stress

9) Pierce's three to go up 90-86 was a terrible possession that will appear on his Hall of Fame reel, because this is what his career is

8) The out of bounds reversal was warranted and inevitable, because that's what happens to the Celtics in the playoffs

7) Wade actually hit semi-important FTs late, which is new for a Celtics opponent

6) You'd never know that Ray Allen was having FT problems from tonight's game, because that is, again, just what Boston does

5) Some very small credit should be given to the Heat for not just hoisting up game-ending three misses until the very end

4) If you actually thought Garnett was going to miss a FT with 9 seconds left, you haven't been watching the Celtics for, like, ever

3) The Celtics won on the road on a night where Rondo couldn't put it in the ocean, which is complete Opposite Day from Game 3

2) Boston is going to the Finals, and will win it, probably over the Spurs in six draggy games, because the NBA's non-Celtic fans can not have nice things

1) The Heat either have the most positive young fan ever, or the youngest and snarkiest Boston Fan on the planet got in their tunnel

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