Thursday, June 7, 2012

Heat - Celtics Game Six Top 40 Takeaways

40) LeBron James has got your post game right here

39) Rajon Rondo had one assist in the first quarter, and seven turnovers on the night, so this must have been all his fault

38) James is entirely to blame for this game being devoid of drama, which is one more reason to hate him, I guess

37) You could watch a lot of games without seeing Paul Pierce look more feeble than tonight's first half

 36) When you hear how the Celtics aren't athletic, it's mostly about the rebounding, and it's deserved

35) If Dwyane Wade had actually been worth a damn tonight, this game would have been over at the half

34) Without Rondo and James, the first half would have ended as Heat 25, Celtics 23, and redefined ugly in our time

33) When Kevin Garnett travels, he gets his money's worth

32) This game must not have been held in Boston, because I've been led to believe that Boston Fans actually make noise for more than gutless front-running

31) If you had 9:30 in the third quarter for Garnett getting a reputation technical, you win the pool... and the Celtics went on a mild run afterwards, as usual

30) Wade killed five seconds of clock by blocking the ball as it trickled out of the front court, for, well, some reason

29) You can always tell when the Celtic run will start, and inevitable too-late timeout from Spoelstra to limit the damage

28) When Udonis Haslem is killing you on the boards, your bigs are really not that good

27) Boston really might be the best team in NBA history for getting casual swears into on court mics

26) If this series went on long enough, Wade would get less respect for the refs than Norris Cole, and deservedly so

25) Haslem's fourth foul with 17 minutes left proved highly.... irrelevant

24) I'm not sure why Chris Bosh is given one on one defensive responsibilities for Pierce in his second game back from injury, but it's not like it mattered

23) Bosh's 8 foot baseline airball was something you won't see at your local Y

22) Rondo really has perfected the art of flopping while fouling

21) It's not like he's been playing badly, but If this James had played in the first five games, there's no way the Heat were playing an elimination game

20) Rondo's tip board, leading to James' technical, with 15 minutes left, shows how even on an amazing night, James doesn't have a high basketball IQ

19) If your idea of NBA analysis is complaining about the current rules, Jeff van Gundy is the alpha and omega

18) The teams traded Hero Balls for a few minutes in the third, which is to say, ugly basketball that makes the Lemur's paid geisha wet

17) If you need a team to turn the ball over while trying to save it, leading to a damaging fast break, the Heat are your men

16) Not that it would have made a difference, but the Celtics' three point shooting was godawful

15) The end of the third quarter looked like both teams were exhausted or drunk, with the exception of that James guy

14) Rondo likes to tap James down low on jump shots, which seemed a little, I don't know, fruity to me

13) Mikael Pietrus is really good at staring at his misses as if they were works of art

12) When this Celtics team looks bad and old, it looks really, really bad and really, really old

11) Keyon Dooling was actually called for the constant hand check fouling that makes van Gundy sigh

10) After Shane Battier hit the corner three to make the lead 18 with 10:18 left, you could have taken a nap in the gym, which doesn't exactly speak to ferocious home court advantage and support

9) James took his second foul as if he was bidding at an auction

8) I'm not sure who was in Pierce's jersey tonight, but that guy sucked

7) Celtic Fan partially saved their reputation by having the last 2,000 people in the building chant loudly at the end

6) Once again, we can retire the notion that Chris Bosh is the most important member of his team

5) James finally sat after 45 minutes with 45-15-5 on 19 of 28 shooting, and, um, good Gawd

4) Boston Fan showered James with beer as he was leaving, because they are just so classy and knowledgeable, and will suffer bad PR for nanoseconds for it

3) Consolation for the haters: James had three fouls, only made 50% of his free throws, didn't score in the last three minutes and turned it over four times

2) If you really think this was the end of the Celtics, you must also believe that movie monsters are really dead when they lose consciousness thirty minutes before the film is over

1) We are one game away from a Finals that the world will reduce, stupidly, to one guy versus one other guy, because the world prefers Drama to Game no matter how good the Game is

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