Monday, June 4, 2012

Top 10 reasons why the NFL locked out the refs

10) Just not making enough money

9) Really want to see how much they can infuriate fans who will still, of course, watch every minute of every game

8) Refs kept leaving negotiation session to go to a nearby porno arcade and go "under the hood"

7) Roger Goodell's looking to make an example out of those who defy him, and he's fresh out of Saints personnel

 6) League refuses to pay health benefits of retired refs with degenerative brain conditions, since they don't pay that for the active ones, either

5) Are totally sure that the scabs working these games will not, in any way, be tempted to cash in an immense untaxed payday from people who enjoy wearing pinkie rings

 4) Now that kickoffs have been neutered, defenses have been retrained to not hit defenseless players, and All Father Goodell has shown his mighty suspension sword, the games more or less officiate themselves

 3) Replacement refs certainly won't use replay as a crutch, slow down game play, and contribute to a general bush league air

2) It's America in 2012: if you aren't cutting jobs, all of the other CEOs laugh at you

1) Goodell is totally out to screw your fantasy team

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