Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Top 10 takeaways from Freddy Galvis' 50-game PED suspension

10) He must be innocent, since he was hitting all of .226 before getting suspended

9) This easily qualifies as among the top 500 most disappointing things to happen to Phillies Fan this year

8) Ruben Amaro Jr. says that he team totally supports the program and the decision, probably because Galvis kind of sucks

7) It's a known fact that steroid use can greatly enhance your defensive prowess

6) Venezuela will never recover from the shame, oh the shame, of a pretty anonymous hurt player testing for PEDs

5) Galvis tested positive for a metabolite of Clostebol, which at least means that unlike Manny Ramirez, hes's not pregnant

4) He said that he wants to return as soon as possible to help the Phillies win the World Series, so one of the side effects must be delusions

3) Galvis will serve his suspension while on the disabled list, so he's really going to learn a lot from this

2) He says he's extremely disappointed at what has transpired this year, which means he has actully been watching the Phillies this year

1) The Phillies say that they believe in Galvis and think he has a great future, but this is tempered by the fact that they were dumb enough to give him a starting job with his can't hit enough to keep a job while on PEDs

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