Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Top 10 reaons why Dez Bryant (Allegedly) Beat His Mom

It's Mug Shot Season. No, Wabbit Season!
10) Peer pressure in the Cowboys organization can sure make a man do strange things

9) Wanted to raise the bar from ordinary domestic abuse

8) Needs to truly test the ability of Jerruh Jones and fantasy honks to look the other way

7) Let's face it, he was always going to jail for something, so it might as well be something relatively original

6) Judging from the relative criminal records of both individuals, this really wasn't a case of beating the innocent

5) Was getting tired of Drew Rosenhaus telling him that, no, he wasn't his craziest or most disgusting client

4) Remembered something she totally did not get him when he was younger and totally deserved it

3) As we've proven repeatedly this week, many NFL chuckleheads do not react well to the combination of Mondays, summer, and no training camp to keep them under lock and key

2) She didn't take him in her fantasy league draft, so I think we can all agree that she was kind of asking for it

1) Asked him to leave her home during an argument without saying pretty please, and dammit, a man's got to have standards

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