Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Marshawn Lynch got arrested

Marshawn provides many mug shots to choose from
10) Caused seismic problems on Bay Area highways with his epic DUI run

9) Local authorities still annoyed with him for not being better at Cal

8) Got cocky after not being suspended for a personal conduct violation for, like, three whole years

7) Drinking while driving in Oakland is, to be fair, the only way to get Raider Fan off your back

6) Thought the car was self-driving, what with all that Googly Moogly stuff going on in the area

5) Wanted to make sure he still had street cred after giving a scholarship to a local gunshot victim

4) Wanted to prove that, at age 26, he still had "it"

3) As JaMarcus Russell is a distant cousin, you can argue that stupidity with liquor is a genetic trait

2) Thought all of the booze was just melted down Skittles

1) Wanted to give all of his fantasy owners the big heads up that this year is really going to suck for them, and that it's time to get out while the getting is good

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