Thursday, July 26, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Martellus Bennett hates the Cowboys

The new Giants' tight end expressed his hate for his old team in a recent interview with the New York media. What has led to such ill will?

10) Threw sand in his face the last time he saw them, just when he was totally going to get the pinfall

9) Jason Witten kept being better than him despite the overwhelming drawback of being older and whiter

8) Someone told him that the reason the last three Giants TEs are gone is because they didn't hate the Cowboys enough

7) Hasn't gotten the memo that, with one playoff win in this century, the Cowboys are more worthy of pity than hate

6) Constant late season collapses made him take comfort in food, glorious food, so Dallas was totally responsible for him becoming such a lard ass over the years

5) Eli Manning mentioned that he prioritizes targets based on the level of Cowboy Hatred, because after taking the Manning family lead in Super Bowl rings, he's just full of good humor

4) Cowboys kept playing him, game after game, just to make his time between touchdowns longer

3) Dallas only let him go to New York if the Giants absolutely promised to ride him hard in training camp

2) Had to come up with something for the media, or they'd right about his Terrible, Terrible Secret

1) Jerruh Jones kept calling Marcellus and daring him to say "What" again

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